Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Blank mind attacks

Why is it every time I had some urgent and important works to be done I just don’t have any idea to start off until the eleventh hour? I don’t like last minute things but on that very last minute la all the brilliant ideas come. It stressed me out every time.

Like what I’m having now. I have 6 papers to do in which I’ve to compile all the reports I got from 13 divisions, 3 departments and 6 agencies. I need to study their report thoroughly and come out with summaries out of it. Not to mention to study the report on figures that can be up to hundred millions ok and filled up the tables I’ve prepares for it.

I am now stares at all that blankly despite all my effort to concentrate. Wait till 2 days before the meeting and walla all the ideas on what to write will come out profusely. By that time it’ll be too late and I’ll be freaking out trying to make sure everything is in the paper and the slides are in order and stuff.

I don’t like doing things in a rush; thus explaining my strict punctuality manner. But in terms of coming up with ideas especially in writing things, my mind would be so slow, even slower than snails ok. I’ve been thru this problem since forever. Back then when I as a student myself, I would start early on doing revision or studying with the hopes I can read everything and well prepared for whatever test or exam. But then I would stares at the page blankly (as if reading things in Spanish) and feel sleepy few minutes later. It happens every times ok. But say the final exam paper on that subject is tomorrow, I can magically understand everything. Oh like this… oh like that. Now I understand. But then it’s too late already. I can’t finish reading everything within a night plus I have attention disorder where I can be distracted easily and surely I can’t remember things I read in rush. So every times I freaked out during final exams, I vowed to start off early for the next semester but then as I said earlier, all the books I read suddenly turned into Spanish books.

It happens again now. Every times I freaked out preparing the reports at eleventh hours; I promised myself that I’ll start immediately after finishing the meeting and completed everything soonest as possible. But now instead of putting more words on my report, I’m updating my blog. Haish…. And later I would have sleepless night worrying about works and datelines. I have no one to blame but myself. Is there any exercise or anything that can help me concentre?

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