Can you see the fire at my head?

Work sucks big time yesterday. I was so pissed off that I nearly cried. This is what happened when you took all matters to your heart.

I’ve been busy with all sort of paperwork lately and one of the biggest is audit queries. I don’t know what when wrong but the amounts of queries on asset management are unbelievable. Obviously the auditor is not well versed with the procedure of asset management yet.

I had sleepless night last week thinking about the answer for all the queries. There are 3 big portions under asset matter; asset, storing and transport. I’m handling the 1st one while the other 2 were handled by others.

Once I received the report on audit queries, I’ve reminded the other 2 to prepare the answer. The person responsible on transport matters is a see-see and a pee-pee-tea. Both aged 50 plus; the see-see is a lady whiles the pee-pee-tea in a guy. Apparently both people took things for granted. No one did anything until last Friday.

Since I’m having a meeting at KK on Monday, I have to prepare all the answer by Friday for the exit conference will be held on Tuesday. I finished mine on Friday at 6 plus. As I prepare myself for the meeting, my as-you-bee asked me if I can lend a hand for the answers on transport matter. I was torn in between, angry for I’ve reminded them numerous times to prepare the answer and awry coz I don’t want the boss to think that I berkira kerja. So I stay till night to draft the answer for them. It was a heated session coz apparently someone didn’t do their job. I have to say that I’m so impressed with my level of calmness that day; I didn’t sleep the night before, I was stuck with preparing the answers the whole day and yet it wasn’t me who was pissed off that day. It was the see-see coz the queries obviously showed that she didn’t do what she supposed to do.

I arrived home nearly midnight on Monday. I was a bit grumpy yesterday coz I’m exhausted and yet there’s this exit conference at noon so I can take any leave yet.

To my surprise, the see-see went for a Mentor-Mentee course and she didn’t inform anyone about it. Not even the as-you-bee or her kay-pee-as-you. Try to run away it seem. She didn’t prepares any supportive document to support the draft that I’ve prepares for them and the draft remain as draft.

During the exit conference, I was bombarded with all kind of questions. No one to support me coz my as-you-bee went to greet the new minister and my kay-pee-as-you is still new. I don’t have problem answering my part but transport matter is not my thing so I was not in the know. Those who directly responsible for it ran away; afraid of the exposure on their incompetence it seems.

When I came down, everyone seems to know what I’ve been through so they became a bit supportive. I guess my pee-tea-oo already informed them about. I was supposed to be on leave today but I won’t be in the office the whole week next week so I got till this Friday to finalize everything. I was so angry that I nearly cried when I grumble to a senior pee-tee-oo whose workstation is in front of me. But En. Nasrol was there too so have to control la.

I was still grumpy when I went home yesterday. While taking shower, I nearly cried (yes I always cried during showering) but I suppressed the tears; if I cried it means that everything was my fault and I’m defeated; in which I’m not.

This morning, my as-you-bee asked me; are you ok? My replies; I’m not and I’m angry. Hahaha….

That see-see is nowhere to be seen today; still busy with that Mentor-Mentee it seem. I wonder; can people like that be a mentor? Oh please…. ruining the new seed aje.

Work + work + work = a missed opportunity

Help me… I’m sinking in piles of paperwork that never seem to stop pouring in. I just completed the paper for next week big meeting and now concentrating on preparing the answers for the audit queries in which there will be an exit conference on this Tuesday. Begitu banyak ok. I only got today and tomorrow to prepare for it coz I’m flying away this Sunday.

I’ll be attending a meeting at Kota Kinabalu on Monday.This is my first time going there and yet can stay only for a night. Ceh, tak nak bagi chance langsung. My flight to KK would be on Sunday evening and I’ll be back on that same Monday. Tuesday got to prepare for a war; with auditor.

Oh one bad news to share; got to excuse myself from going to Langkawi for I need to attend a workshop in constructing a financial instruction for our agencies. Bencilah coz I’ve never been to Langkawi before, it’s an international event and that workshop will be held right here in KL. This is what happens when you single-handedly in-charge of a portfolio. Same goes for that audit queries; I’ll be answering all the queries coz I am the only one who know the answer. Sigh….

Oh Langkawi…. when will I set my foot there?

A belated surprise

I was busy doing some work when En. Nasrol came to my place and started asking about something and he sounded extra caring that he makes me wondering. Sometimes we would have dinner together after works but that would be a straight forward discussion. Then Haiza and Naras came and reminded me about the MAS Roadshow tomorrow.

We were chatting about the roadshow when suddenly I saw a hair rising from beside my cubicles. It was Edwin, holding the cakes. Hish, terkejut ok. I was so touched but luckily I didn’t shed any tears. It’s a belated surprise coz apparently they’ve been planning about it since Monday but one thing led to another that finally they did it today.

Thank you everyone for the wishes, surprises, gift and what not. Thank you so much. You all really make my day. Ish sedih la plak. Oh the best part was when the big boss, a JUSA C, sang me a birthday song. Hehehe...

A blurred one coz the lense got fingerprint on it

Same one

Me, the cake and En. Nasrol

Happy Birthday Cik Eny

Edwin stealing the grapes

This cake looks yummy

Emmm yummy. Orang belakang tu dah tak menyempat

Me first... no me first...

Oooo, tak sabar sangat ye, nah amik ni

Photos of here and there

The food

One happy birthday girl

Me, Shahmi and Nurul

The guy at the back there, he's not that tall actually. Inilah Kem (tentera) hahaha.....

Comelkan, rasa nak cium-cium. Senyum simpul gitu

What are you looking at?

Birthday treat and another big gift

I think someone has cast a spell on me. Coz I was supposed to be very angry with this fella but I didn’t. Ok actually I am angry towards her but I didn’t want to be emotionally freaky on my birthday so I forgive her. And she did confess that she didn’t sleep at all the night she made me angry. Hahaha…

So, to win my heart back, she took me out for dinner at Manhattan Fish Market last night. It’s a birthday treat also la. We had Sizzling Louisiana Prawn for appetizer and Grilled Gala Platter for 2 as the main course. Since I ordered Iced Lemon Tea, might as well add on asparagus soup for a bottomless drink. Like I can drink that much. Huh.

Obviously the foods were too much for us. She invited her boyfriend halfway thru (he didn’t join in at first coz shy-shy gitu) and still we can’t finish the food. My tummy was already full to the max but she said I ate way too little. Hmm does that mean my tummy already shrinks a bit? Awww I like. Of all the food on the platter, I ate 2 shrimps, 1 calamari, a mouthful of garlic rice, a bite of fish and lots and lots of fries. Thanks for the treat friend.

I got free calls from Maxis but I didn’t have time to call peoples during daytime. Everyone at home already asleep when I called last night so I called Pn. Azura and Sal just to used up the offer. Sal sang a birthday song for me. It was a bit funny coz both imitated the sound of candles blowing in the end.

I’ve been sleeping late these past few days. And with all the workload on my table, I’m pretty exhausted as I write this. And I got a class to attend tonight. Sooo tired la. It’s been so long since I last applied for leave. Nak cuti but got tonne of work la. Sigh…

Nak cutiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…..

On a lighter note; I got a birthday gift from PSM too. A new boss. A man. Younger than me and just got married. Hehehe…(grinning evilly and grinding both palms) time to buli the boss.

I was born today

Today is my big day. I’m turning 13 today. Hehehe…yeah you see the number right. Nothing wrong with your sight.

My wish today:

To be granted with healthy body, mind and soul

To be granted with God’s blessing in everything I do

To be a better person

Dimurahkan rezeki

Dipermudahkan dalam segala urusan

Bahagia ke akhir hayat

Amin.

Abah called today wishing for my birthday and managed to crack some joke; again…

Abah: Eh semalam ada buat anugerah kan? Tapi diorang terlupa la nak buat satu anugerah ni.

Me: Aah. Anugerah Andartu Popular.

Abah: “Laugh his heart out”

Me: Anugerah ape Bah?

Abah: Ha betullah tu. Hahaha…

Last year, he smsed me, wishing for my birthday but he wrote “Selamat Menyambut Harijadi yang ke…. Ish segan la nak sebut”. Well that’s my dad, never short of jokes to play on me.

As for Mak, she called me numerous times this morning but I got a meeting. So when I called her back, as usual Mak wishes would be full with prayers. Amin for everything.

I don’t know why but receiving a birthday wishes from my family will always make me choking with emotions. I don’t mind the jokes, but it touches my heart coz they remember. Especially my dad coz you know how man doesn’t really cares about anniversaries right. And my siblings too.

Can’t wait to go home to celebrate with them but that is not happening in near future. I’m fully booked till next month. Sigh…

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Hmmm, that reminded me that I haven’t bought any present for myself yet. I aimed for something but haven’t got time to do some market surveys yet. It’ll be a belated one lah. I’ll update once I have my hand on it, ok.

Colourful weekend

Colourful emotions indeed. On Saturday, I went to Seremban with Kem (I don’t know how to spell it actually). We’re meeting Nurul, our bestie. I haven’t met her baby yet, a baby that really messed her mommy appetite during pregnancy. It was me who bought Nurul’s packed lunch every single day when she was pregnant; before I went to DPA of course. Pity her. She vomited like no body business. And the hubby was far away at Indonesia; doing some business. The son, Shahmi Ashraff is so cute. Geramnya… feel like babysitting him for few days.

The funny thing was it took us more than 2 hours to reach Nurul’s place at Seremban from Putrajaya. We lost our way there. Pusing sana pusing sini, and endless call to Nurul and we still couldn’t find our way. Finally she came and picked us up; just the opposite street actually. Hehehe…

Went home to a flooded house at 7 plus. I know it’ll happen sooner or later coz of the way they build the apartment. When it’s raining, I can’t go in or out of the house without getting wet and this time the water entered the house from the main door. I seriously have to file a complaint this time.

On Sunday, something reaaaally bad happen, I’m so angry that I cried. Hahaha…. On Saturday night, a friend texted me; to tag along for an event; the ticket already paid but somebody else can’t make it. As you all know me, I hardly say no to a friend unless I really can’t. So I said ok.

Left home at 7.30am and went straight to Sunway Pyramid. I saw Impreza, Evolutions and lots of other sport car so I thought it was a sport car showcase. And this friend, she didn’t say anything. To my surprise, there was a huge crowd upstairs; young, fashionable and loud. I didn’t expect anything like that and I hate crowded and noisy place.

The event was not something that I can tolerate; everyone was flaunting their things, proudly announcing about the 5 figure income and everything lah. I just cannot tolerate that attitude, as if I care that you’re carrying a Coach or LV bag, and some even flaunt their Bonia bag. Bonia? Come on….

I didn’t expected the event to end later than noon but I was there right till the end; at about 6plus. Peoples were shouting their heart out, singing and everything. I hate it, I hate it, I haaaaaate it.

I guess everyone there thought that I’m some snobbish or crazy coz I didn’t have any emotion when everyone else were happily singing and dancing along together but I don’t care. I feel cheated. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. How do you want me to trust you if you start off with a lie?

And adding salt to the wound was when I was stuck there right till 7plus, waiting for something and no one there cares to tell me what that something is. I texted a few friend asking how to go back from there but all the solutions given was not to my favour. It was raining and I stuck there helpless and angry to the max. And yet I didn’t say a thing to that friend. I’m angry and yet I just can’t tell it to her face; tak sampai hati but she sampai hati treated me that way.

Finally, out of desperation, I called a friend begging that friend to pick me up. Luckily that friend said yes and took me home around 8plus. Thank God for a friend like that. I was so angry that I cried pouring my anger to that friend.

When I’m home, I realized that I left my car keys at the-friend-that-make-me-angry handbag so I just have to text her asking for the key. And met her again when she handed me the keys. She told me not to shun her but she didn’t say sorry at all. I just don’t know how I should react to that. I’m angry but she’s a good friend. This is just a small matter but I can’t accept the fact that she lied to me on the first place, and she have heart to keep me wondering right till this moment on what is exactly she did or how she did it. What kind of a friend is that?

And yes, you guess it right; the event was an MLM thingymajingy.

A pray for me

En. Afnan is going to perform his umrah tomorrow. I want him to say a few prayers for me there but I haven’t made up my mind yet on things that I should ask for. And he reminded me that I should keep my list short. So, should I ask him to pray that things will be easier for me in terms of finding my match? Hahaha….

But one thing for sure, I’ll ask him to write my name at Jabal Rahmah coz that’s what Yus did for me when she went there last year. Actually I’m not that desperate on this stuff but no harm in trying, right?

Oh I should ask him to pray for a good health for the whole family; especially my parents. And for my siblings; may they pass all the exams, accepted to university and ended with good job. And finally, to make things easy for me in everything.

I think this is short enough. Too short indeed. Have to add on a few more lah. Maybe I should ask him to pray for me on my birthday. That’s the best gift ever. Hehehe…

When would my turn be huh? Have to pray hard and save money lah after this. Hopefully by next year, I can go there with Mak and Abah. Amin.

A lift, a staircase and a fat me

When I went home yesterday, I heard the emergency bell ringing loudly. As we all know, lift will not be operating in case of emergency. It’ll be automatically parked at the ground floor. So I waited few minutes before heading to the staircase. Urgh, I’m tired physically and emotionally and now this. And right when I inserted my key at the grill, the lift resumes back its operation. Sabar…sabar… at least I manage to exercise a bit right.

And because of that, I think I’ll use the staircase again this evening and every other evening; of course when I don’t carry anything with me la right. At least I can trim my weight a bit. I’m in dire need of exercising my lazy bum coz I’ve put on weight again, I’m breathless easily even when doing a light errand, I’m tired easily for no apparent reason and I’m bored. Hahaha. Such a good excuse to start exercising.

A gift from ICT

There couldn’t be any better day than this to launch a new website. I feel honoured. Thank you…thank you…Hahaha

Gentleman, speak in English

We were chatting on some stuff when I told my mom that I might be going to Langkawi for an international dialogue. It’s an event hosted by our ministry so as usual my department are in-charge of protocol and logistic matters. Those who scored good grades during MUET last year will be selected as liaison officer. Someone told me that I might be one of those.

Mak reaction was;

Oh kene cakap-cakap la tu nanti. Eh reti ke nak cakap Inggeris?

I was like hah? Duh….

Mak ni pandang rendah la kat anak Mak.

Hahaha…. tak de la. Mak tak pernah pun dengar cakap Bahasa Inggeris. Ish Mak bangga kalau anak Mak reti cakap Inggeris ni. Yada..yada…yada…

Yelah nak cakap dengan sape kat umah tu. Bla…bla…bla… Boleh la nak cakap sikit-sikit tapi tak de la macam orang putih tu.

Hahaha… obviously Mak never heard me communicating in English. And I didn’t at home. The least I did was when sometimes I would test Ayum capability in handling that language; in which he did just great.

And yes, my communication skill in English is nothing to be proud of. I can write better than speaking. The only time I think I can speak fluently was years ago when I work in Ampang Park. The daily communication was in English; everyone there speaks in English and the customers mostly were foreigners. Practice make perfect it seems.

Mak told me to practice English with my sibling; especially Mamat and Thalha. How to if in a year, we only met for a few day. Both are now in UUM and we only met during raya or sometimes during semester break.

But Mak is right. I have to talk with my siblings in English to help them. It’s a good practice for everyone. And a good ground to start a joke or teasing each other too. Hahaha…

Abang's wedding

Last Saturday my parents and the siblings came again, this time to attend Abang’s wedding. Abang is my 2nd cousin; his mom, Aunty Su and my mom are cousin. Siti didn’t come coz she got a tournament on something so Hayat and her daughter, Meera joined in.

It was a big kenduri indeed; considering Uncle Ramli’s nature of work plus this is the 1st wedding on their small family.

When I was still studying in UiTM Shah Alam, their house was the place I used to hang out during semester break; it was in Section 3, just a few metres from the Kolej Jati. Thus the children (Abang, Siddiq, Syafiq and Atiqah) and I are on a friendly term; minus the 4th ones, Noi coz she’s not around when I was there.

And again like the week before, it’s a place for all my mom’s uncles, aunties and cousins to meet up and chatted about all the nostalgia and what not. And just like before, none of my mom siblings came. My own nenek too. Sigh….

We stayed till the caterer cleaned up everything and went home for endless congkak games. Oh that evening we (Dik Man, Ayum, Akak, Hayat and me) played badminton too. We’re brushing our skills on hitting the shuttlecock. I haven’t touch the racket since 20 years ago (I last played badminton when I was 11 due to an incident) so there’s a lot to catch up. Kan best if we live together here, sure there’s lot of games that we can play. The surrounding at my home in Kuantan doesn’t permit us to have this kind of physical activities.

I’d be counting the days waiting for their visit again. Hmmm…

She just loves posing for camera

The dais, this time with fresh daisies

Mak with Nek Teh; the groom's granny

Posing at the dais happily

Meera's thousand faces; and just before the incident

Crying her heart out after that; scalded her finger when she touched the burning spot light

The newlywed; Abang and Mimi. Congratulations!

Bonded by congkak

On the way back from the Ziarah Hijrah programme last month, we drop by at Ayer Itam for some shopping. I end up buying a mirror, a bamboo carpet (oh no, not again Eny!), an umbrella holder and a congkak set.

I told Ayum that there’s something new at my house that he’ll definitely hooked with. So last weekend when he came down here, he search high and low looking for that something new. I put the congkak set just beside the TV cabinet but I guess he missed it.

So he kept pestering me about it till I nearly blurted about it. I asked him to keep looking but Mak spoiled the surprise by telling him about it. I guess Mak also can’t stand seeing Ayum searching here and there.

We immediately tear off the plastic wrapping and voila… the addiction towards that congkak started creeping towards everyone. Even Abah also became addicted to it. They kept playing with it all the time.

Abah emerged as the champion, beating everyone else. Well, who are we to beat Abah, the kampung boy. Abah was so great in playing congkak that he beat Ayum right till the last holes. I dare not challenge Abah yet, just Dik Man and Ayum.

They’re coming tomorrow and I bet the congkak match will be on again. A truly family-bonding moment.

Abah and Dik Man just started

Shoes with feeling

Do you think shoes have feeling? I think it has because of what happen last weekend. 3 weeks ago, I bought a new shoes; for casual use. Then last weekend, Mak bought me another new pairs; as early birthday present.

Normally I would have blister at my feet every time I wear new shoes but I didn’t get any when I wear this one. But right after we paid for the new shoes, I started to feel discomfort at my right feet. Hmm, that’s weird.

Is this shoes wanted to show some protest? I’m still new and even spare you from having blisters and yet you wanted to madu me? How ungrateful you are. Let me bite you a bit. I think this is what on the shoes mind – if it got any.

But I’ve decided not to wear the new pair till my birthday. And as if this shoes can read my mind; the discomfort went away just like that the very next day. And there’s no recurrence until today.

So I seriously feel/think that shoes have feeling. Have to jaga hati them, if not blisters, discomfort and worse still, damage within few wear. Hehehe…

Oh by the way, why must every pretty shoe have high heels? The highest heel I ever wear is 1 to 1.5 inch only. 2 inch is considered high already to me. Maybe I should venture into shoe-making business; so that I and those who have dilemma in buying shoes can have more choices; pretty shoes without heels. Mind you, these are the thing behind most big successful company all over the world ok; they venture into business just because they are disappointed with limited choices offered on the market.

If Jimmy Choo can put his name at the shoes, can I put Eny Yusof? But I can’t hear any commercial sound in it. Hmmmm.

Still on 'that' issue

Along, Pak Teh eldest son came with his fiancé yesterday. He got to report duty at JKPTG today. We chatted on everything and mostly about the happier past and the crisis plaguing our big family now. The children are ok with each other but the parents are the one who created all the fuss.

Luckily my parents, even though affected too but they don’t want the silaturrahim to cut off over silly matters. I’m so proud and respect Abah mostly over this thing coz Mak, she got fragile heart like me too so Abah is the one who keep coaxing and advising Mak. We’re still family after all, right.

This morning, I asked Nadia, Mak Ngah daughter who work in NRE to come down and meet Along. They didn’t meet each other for more than 10 years; due to a crisis by both their parents. And when Along went for the registration briefing, Nadia and me continued expressing our disappointment over what happened during the weekend. They too felt disappointed with those who didn’t make it on that day. And adding salt to the wound is when no one cares to at least call and didn’t pick up the phone when Mak Ngah and family called them. How long would this silent treatment/cold war would last?

Seems like every one sulked towards each other over some matters that actually can be solved right away. There seems to be lacked off communications in our big family. That’s why I feel that we all have to gather back like we used to do and it’ll be the best platform to voice out anything and everything. Sometimes things are not like what we think it is. It’s a mere misunderstanding that when we ignore it, it’ll hurt and deepen over time.

But who am I to talk this sense into them? Sigh…