Sayonara Kak Serry and little bit of here and there

This is Pn. Sarinah a.k.a Kak Serry. Today is her last day here coz she’s been promoted to a CC post at RELA, Melaka. Admin will never be the same again without Kak Serry coz she’s one of the kind yang menceriakan suasana dengan lawak-lawaknya yang spontaneous. Wah sume penceria suasana admin got promoted and will be transfer out. Time change so do people so those who remain should get used to it. It’s the dance of life. All the best to Kak Serry at her new place. You will always be remembered here Kak Serry.

These are some of the photos taken during breakfast@admin, sponsored by Kak Serry. Terima kasih daun keladi, panjang umur kita jumpa lagi

L to R : Kak Jas, Lydia, Edwin, Kak Serry, En. Nasrol, En. Afnan & En. Mistuman

L to R : CC Hajar, En. Rossley, Kak Asmah, Zana, Lia, Zura & Naras

L to R : Me, Nora, Kak Jas & Lydia

Cheese cake sponsored by Admin. But I did not ate this cake pon coz I'm just not into cheese cake

L to R : Kak Asmah, En. Zubir (our big boss), En. Afnan, Kak Serry, Pn. Azura (yang menyelit in between tu) & Cik Nor (my boss)

This is En. Mistuman a.k.a Superman, Ultraman, He-man & what not man for our ministry. Aset hidup paling berharga ni. Without him, KKLW akan tempang. Cewah!

An called me just now. Few years has passed since the last time we talk to each other. Don’t get me wrong, we did not have a fight or anything, just that time has drifted us away. We’ve loose contact since she got married, not so long after she started her career at Angkasa while me, at Guardian. I’ve been longing to contact her but you know la kan, the “nanti lah…” of mine maknanya either terlupa terus or buat but then the timing is not right anymore. What kind of friend la I ni kan. I love all my friends (minah kecoh macam I ni clicked easily with people thus end up with so many close friends) but having too many of them sometimes I terlupa nak keep in touch, even if I do, as I said makan tahun la kan. Just imagine, I’ve been to so many schools and at every school I got a few cliques of mine. Ada clique classmate, ada clique dormmate (I even got a few admirer from senior & junior batch, dulu la tu, masa muda-muda coz I’m just different) and macam-macam cliques lagi la including cliques during my uni days at UiTM with so many society@activities and not forgetting my ex-colleague kat Guardian (I served at quite a few branches during my 3 ½ service with Guardian so ramai la ex-colleague). Some people only clique with just a few friends and stay with that clique for the rest of their life. Like me, wah boringnye kalau asyik dengan orang yang sama je so I have different cliques at a same time so my life have never been bored or dull. Every clique has their own specialties so I treasured each and every moment I spend with them.


Ok back to An story. Wah she already have a pair of child, a 3 ½ year old son and 2 ½ year old daughter and now due for the 3rd ones, at any moment. All my friend dah beranak-pinak but here I am still single-mingle. Nak buat macam mana kan, dah tersurat untuk belum bertemu jodoh. Sabar aje lah kan…. Talking about jodoh ni kan, masih ramai yang tak percaya that I don’t have a boyfriend and tu belum cakap yang I never had pon. Lagi la diorang tak percaya. Yelah coz I’ve been seen around with guys all the time. Ye ke? Hmm I keluar jugak dengan girlfriends tapi as I said before, most of them have families to attend to so jarang la dapat spare time for me. So I end up going out with kawan-kawan yang available la kan, which happen to be those guys (if only those guys know that they have been labeled as my toy boys sure they will be pissed off kan. But I know it was meant only as a jokes among my friends aje… takkan lah I nak ada toy boys plak… tak kuasa ok). Wait a minute, no wonder la tak de orang nak ngorat I, mesti diorang ingat I dah ada boyfriend, sebab selalu je dengan guys kan. Ye tak ye jugak tapi mulut kan ada, tanya la dulu, iye tak? Hehehe….


Actually many people (friends, colleagues, or even relatives of my friends yang berkenan kat I la tu konon-kononnya) have tried to be the matchmaker for me but than sure tak jadi punya. You name it sume ade. Cikgu la, lecturer la ntah sape-sape lagi ntah but I don’t know; I just don’t feel like going serious with all of them. No, I’m not picky or demanding lebih-lebih, maybe we are not meant for each other kot. I am thankful to all those yang terlibat nak jadi my matchmaker so I ada la gak contacting with all sort of guys yang diorang nak introduce to me tu but halfway thru I dah hilang interest. Macam mana nak describe ek… I ni ada angin gak la… kalau I rajin I akan sms or layan diorang bercakap tapi kalau angin malas datang, malasnya nak reply sms and I gave macam-macam lame excuse just to cut short their calls. Normally I told them that I’m in the middle of doing something or paling worst pon I cakap my mom panggil. Hehehe… teruk I ni kan. Sorry guys tapi that’s me…. Take it or leave it. Towards a certain stage, tahap kemalasan I akan melebihi tahap kerajinan I so you know the rest of the story la kan. So now I am absolutely free from all these matchmaking things. Besides going out with my close colleague like En. Afnan, En. Nasrol, and guys from my batch (Fadhley, Wan, Hafiz yang dah begitu lama tak keluar sekali) or Nora (nama manja I for him, kelakar tak?) just to name a few, there’s no one else. Don’t get me wrong ok, not trying to promote myself or anything, cuma saje la nak citer. Ok la before I bore you guys reading about all this crap, this topic will be continue later on ok. (not going to end it yet coz I know you guys sure nak tau lagi banyaaaak gossip-gossip I ni kan…)


Yeay tonight am going back to Kuantan with Eman (he’s my younger bro in case you all tertanya-tanya, “Lelaki mana pulak dah ni?”). Instead of staying at home doing nothing like last week baik la I balik Kuantan. Leh gak gossip-gossip with my siblings. Lagipon dok lepak-lepak kat rumah lebih indah rasanya walaupun sekadar berbaring-baring di sofa or even on the floor tanpa membuat apa-apa. I’m sure semua orang pon share the same feelings as I am coz being at your parents home, surrounded with families who love you as you are akan membangkitkan satu rasa yang sukar nak digambarkan…cewah… macam En. Afnan plak. Whateverlah Eny. Dah-dah la tu… penat dah diorang baca ni. Ok-ok… see yaa

Bla...bla...bla...

Wah quite a busy day for me today. Got an e-Senggara session with JKR at 8.30am. The session continues till lunch time. Then got back to my place and continue with creating user id for the e-Senggara thing. Need to settle the data entry for this system by end of next month. Banyaknye keje... and dateline…dateline…dateline…

I just found out that my Happy line was terminated. Such a waste of money btoi. The line is cheap so I only used it to call mi familia or mi amiga; boleh gayut lama-lama (99 cents for 45 min, to any line). Believe me, RM20 airtime pon very hard to finish tau. But I’m not the type yang suka gayut lama-lama. In the end the line was terminated coz I forgot to reload (yelah balance banyak lagi kan). Tak pasal-pasal kene beli yang baru. Sabar je lah. Last time I bought 2 ok. 1 for me and 1 for Abah. So tadi I call la Mak, just to check whether the sim card can still be use or not. Memang hampeh ok coz that sim card pon dah kene terminated. Mak and Abah lagi la jarang guna line tu. So the balance masih la banyak lagi. Wah ni yang tak happy ni. But then when I call Happy to order the new one, the customer service operator yang entertain I tu, sangat la bagus, in the end, even though I kena beli yang baru, I’m still quite Happy. So congrats Ema coz you make my day today with your friendliness.

My jogging session with En. Afnan kene cancel again due to his friend yang nak tumpang tido at his place. So 2 weeks has passed since the last time we did some exercise. It’ll be difficult to achieve my target la camni coz sangat jarang dapat exercise tapi sangat selalu makan. Hmmm…. imagine when he got his promotion. Lagi la I tak dapat pergi exercise. Ada ke he asked me if I want to jog on my own today. Not only will it be a boring session, bahaya tau tak for a lady like me to jog alone at that place. The place tu quite sunyi and di zaman sekarang ni, you can never trust anyone. Ntah-ntah guys yang jogging tu sebenarnye sedang mencari mangsa ke ape ke. Wah menakutkan tau tak.

Boringnye… balik, besides washing my clothes (handwash ok), there’s nothing else to do. I kind of malas nak tengok tv lately so sangat la awal I masuk tido. Sometimes before 9 I dah tido. Every thing seems to bore me to the core. Why oh why? Sigh…. Ok lah chow.

Something nice to start off the day

Which is true.... but people come and go. Some will stay, and some will be gone with the wind. But what ever it is, the memories will stay forever.

Dearest buddy during DPA

I just called Kak Diana, my best buddy during DPA. Dah lama I plan to call her but always tak jadi so sempat la borak-borak sket tadi. Miss her so much la. She’s like a sister that I never had. Got to plan a day out with her and her daughter la. Her daughter, Ilya and Elis, even though tak pernah jumpa and I don’t even know how they look like (coz Kak Diana did not keep the photos, takut nanti rindu) tapi macam dah kenal and rindu nak dengar cerita diorang lagi. Most of the time during DPA, Kak Diana sentiasa bercerita about her 2 lovely daughters, biasa la when you become a mother, family is everything (Kak Diana rindu la tu kat anak-anak dia). Hehehe… Kak Diana ni kind of a mentor to me. She’s 35 but I think she’s much better than me in physical activities. And she’s the one I look up for a soothing advice or just to talk to, whenever I feel down, stressful, sad, rejected, bla bla bla…. Thanks Kak Diana for always being there when I most need it.

I can still remember the 1st time I talk to her. We were attending PTD Unggul, at IKWAS at that time. It was quite late at night, tired after a hectic day and waiting for our turn to be measured for our lounge suit. 1st time talking dah macam kenal lama. At the end of Unggul, she was posted to MITI and me to KKLW. We never contacted each other after that. Then during our 6 month DPA course, we were in the same group, Sidang A. We were roomies during OBS, Bomba and Tentera. As time goes by, we become more close to each other. I learn a lot from her. Besides admiring her for her education background (mind you, she did Law, at UK ok), her language (her English, wah sangat bagus), her personality, I admire the way she choose to lead her life. She’s so simple. If I were her, I don’t think I can do things the way she did. Even her love life pun amazing. In fact, itulah yang paling I admire about her pun. If you look at her background, she can actually choose many other great guys but in the end, it was Mr. Nobody (yet adorable to her la of course) who won her heart. Wah sangat kagum. I can talk forever about her so better end it before I bored you guys. Hehehe….

We took a lot of photos together. These are some of it….

Kak Diana, wearing red hat, she's a sweeper for our watch mind you.

Kak Diana getting ready for oil spill exercise. Hebat ni, jangan main-main

During river crossing. Kak Diana boleh!

An evening in Akademi Bomba Kuala Kubu Bharu... siap cycling lagi tau....

During a visit to Balai Bomba somewhere in Shah Alam

Just before Mess Nite at Akademi Bomba

My roomies kat Akademi Bomba... Kak Diana, Kak Ina, Me and Syida

Atas double deck, on the way back from PICC to INTAN

During PPTD Dinner with YMM Agong, PM & KSN at KL Convention Center; both of us memang simple, I like!

During Synthesis Week... the end of DPA

Photos@Telok Chempedak

I haven't got time to upload this photos last week so here it come.

Akak, Meera, Ayum, Dik Man & Siti. Cari port baik, bentang tikar and lepak2

Meera, Me, Akak, Siti & Ayum

Posed dulu before main air

Meera & Dik Man enjoying the waves

While Meera & Dik Man enjoying the waves, this 3 stooges lepak-lapak kat tepi pantai. Siti was in deep thought (thinking about the Poly offer la ni) while Ayum and Akak sure tengah playing with the sand

Dah bosan ape lagi... soru la.... Ada keropok lekor, udang celup tepung and sata. Sume beli kat Tg. Lumpur. Yummy....

At first Meera keep crying and removing the sand... takut kene tanam. Hahaha

Later on dah ok. Siap pose lagi

All smiley with her ke-pan-ke-buk @ Sponge Bob

Manjanya Meera dengan ke-pun-ke-buk dia....

Wasted weekend

What a ‘great’ weekend I had. I spend the whole Saturday by myself. Since both of them (you know who) went to service their car, and most of my other friends; either they don’t pick up the phone or were at their hometown, so I was left alone with nothing much to do. So I went to took out some cash for my Savvy installment. Tapi I cari CIMB, tak jumpa-jumpa. Dah la banyak jalan tutup for Citrawarna that night. Bengang btoi, dulu elok-elok kat P8 nak pindah nak pindah ke P2. Dah susah nak cari (I la susah coz you know how geographically challenge I am). Since I’m pretty bored and hungry, I went to Alamanda, first to have my lunch at McD (imagine, me, alone, eating my McChicken at a corner there…sigh) then to do some shopping. Since I’m alone, I managed to browse things that I like at my own pace. The plan was to look for a new shoes (again Eny?) so I went to all shoe stores at Alamanda. Got 2 pairs that I like so much but then the first one was quite hard. Sure sakit kaki pakai nanti. And the second ones, no size. That’s weird coz my size normally between 37 or 38 but then the size 36 is still big and there’s no size 35. Either there’s something wrong with the shoes or my feet. Eh takkan my feet shrink plak. So no shoes for that day. Jimat duit. Hehehe… Oh I met Atiqah, my cousin. I didn’t know that she’s been doing business course at Lim Kok Wing. Yelah every time I went to her house, she’s not around. So does everyone. There’s only Nenek and Bibik at home. She’s with her boyfriend so malas nak interrupt lama-lama. Last stop, Carrefour. Bought few things then went straight home and I stayed in bed the whole day. Yeah you know me, when I’m stuck with myself with nothing much to do, my mind will do the extra work and I’ll be stressed out. If that doesn’t sound pathetic enough, wait till you hear my Sunday stories.

On Sunday, we (again you know who la kan) were supposed to go to Abg. Jai’s house for a kenduri. En. Afnan given time was 9.50am so after getting ready, I went downstairs waiting for him to pick me up by 9.45am. Just imagine, there I was with my makeup on, wearing baju kurung some more, sweating all over waiting under the sun, and suddenly got an sms from En. Afnan, “Eny, sorila tak jadi nak gi. Nasrol x leh plak”. If you were me, how will you react? Ya Allah… I was so pissed off. At least inform me earlier la woi. And since both of us dah ready to go (En. Afnan said dia pun dah siap) then why can’t we proceed aje. Nothing wrong with that kan. I was so furious that I call Ija, just to share my frustration. Then En. Afnan called. I can’t really remember what he said but what I remember was that he said we’ll go for a movie at 2pm. (Yeah right…. Nak amik hati la tu, later on sure I’m the one yang akan tertunggu-tunggu). So I pon naik la balik kat rumah and went straight to bed. Not to sleep ok. I just keep on waiting and waiting. Then as my instinct told me before, nak tengok movie pon cancel coz En. Afnan wanted to wash his car cushion la ape ntah. What ever…. Wah geramnya!

To cool down, I just slept. Never have I slept as much as I slept yesterday. Wake up only to cook (yeah I did fried some shrimp) lunch. Then sambung tido balik. In between awake and doze off tu I did some reflecting. Why do I need to go bonkers after all? As if people really cares for me feelings before. Yeah right… just shut up and swallow everything la Eny. Macam tak biasa pulak. Yup that’s right. Lagipun bukannya diorang sengaja and bukan selalu ok. Relax, cool down and just let it go. Huh lega rasanya…. Emo pulak I ni kan. Hehehe… So in the end, I just stay at home doing nothing else except for sleeping. Such a ‘great’ weekend kan.

At least we did enjoy our karaoke session on Friday night. Hehehe… if only En. Afnan know how much I despised karaoke before, he’ll be surprised. No one has ever succeeded in pushing me to sing before but he just did. I enjoy karaoke now but no, I will not sing in front of others as I sing in front of En. Afnan and En. Nasrol coz I know my singing still sucks. They even laugh at me but hey who cares coz there are only 3 of us. The funny thing is, both of them are really good singer, and there I am, singing ntah ape-ape ntah. But we had so much fun. Every time…. Hehehe…

What happen in Kedah?

I’m back! The course went pretty well. Even though I was a bit blurred most of the times, but I managed to grab something about asset management. Wah so many things to do ni. I was quite ignorant in some areas coz I was so busy with other areas thus letting a few things not done according to the rules. Never mind, we learn thru mistakes. At least I realize about it rather than waiting for auditor to point out my mistakes.

OK let start off with my journey there. Arrived at KLIA around 12pm plus. Wah KLIA dah maju. Check in using touch screen machine. Quite easy and fast but for those yang not really good with IT things might view it differently (ade lah orang tu kan…). Met Pn. Ani and Wan Rahim there. Grab McD for a quick lunch and off we go to Alor Star. During boarding time tu, met with few other participants, Aisa, Sal, Amir just to name a few. I sit alone coz Cik Nor changed her seat (without informing me, hmmmm) Never mind, I got to sit tepi tingkap. I like! Since nothing much to do (tak kenal sape dok sebelah and kind of malas nak borak-borak) so I took lots of photos. Since I’m still an amateur in photography so my photos tak de lah cantik sangat but ok la kan. But one thing for sure, I kepanasan dalam flight tu. Siap sweating lagi. MAS ni tak service aircond dia ke? Sabar je lah… Arrived at Alor Star around 3pm and we went straight to Darulaman Suites. As usual, dapat bilik sorang satu, which I think kind of waste. Waste of public money. Datang ramai-ramai tapi naik flight. If we took a bus ride, lots of public money can be saved. And if we share the room, at least half of lodging budget can be cut off. Well what to do, that’s the way things are done in government. But in other thing where we really need to spend, kene cut off plak the budget. Reason being; not enough funds left. Apelah diorang ni….

Not sure where but still in Malaysia lol

Yeay dah sampai kat Kedah. Pantai mana ni ek?

Kedah, Negeri Jelapang Padi

My room

I did nothing else besides attending class. Rather stay at my room watching astro than going out coz not feeling like doing so and worst part is; I’m broke. Hehehe… Few things happened during the course. All the participants are from P&P level but their attitude… ya Allah. They don’t really care about what the topic being discussed. And they are really annoying tau. Buat bising, kind of disturbing us (especially me lah kan) yang really want to learn and try to concentrate albeit being blurred all the times. One more thing, there was a request to cut short a session coz they wanted to go shopping at Pekan Rabu. What la woi. Go there to learn or to go shopping? I was so pissed off ngan diorang ni. But who am I to say anything kan. Baru keje dah nak cakap banyak. Most of them yang attend that course dah senior in service but their attitude… memualkan. That’s why we heard a lot of complaints about government; just imagine if the bosses are like this, how the staffs behave agaknya. Bosses supposed to show good examples kan. Haaa kan dah terkeluar ‘keskemaan’ku. No wonder some of friend call me ‘Minah Belia’ and envy with my level-headedness (yang kadang-kadang sangat rigid with rules and regulations ni). I ni bukan ape, it’s my nature to follow rules (obedient la ni konon) and my conscience ni ridiculously suci murni. Tapi I ni tak la baik cuma I tend to think benda yang kecik-kecik and remeh-temeh ni … Allah loves me so He gave me this kind of conscience to guide me from doing bad thing. Not that I ni tak buat benda-benda tak baik ni, ade jugak buat dosa but ntah la. Kind of difficult to explain. Once you know me then only you’ll know more about me. Hehehe…


Yesterday during check-in, met with Nizam. Asal pergi Kedah sure jumpa mamat ni. He attend meeting kat sana so we’re in the same flight back to KL. Arrived kat KLIA, Rossidan amik and hantar ke office. Took my car key at Fadhley and lepak kat office jap before going home. Ada Festival Nasyid last night, at first I planned to go but my period pain is quite bad so cancel la. Kak Mas already went back to Terengganu, finishing the prep for her wedding ceremony. All the best Kak Mas. Not sure yet I can attend or not coz jauh and I tak de geng nak pergi. We’ll see about that later.

Aisa, Cik Nor & me, waiting to board the plane

Got lots and lots of work to do today. As I planned la kan but then has to schedule my work and give dateline for it (without dateline, you won’t get the job done accordingly). One more thing, En. Afnan asked my opinion regarding his new placement, either MOH or MOE. Told him to choose MOE and he’s kind of agree with it coz got lots of opportunity there. Might even secure a place at overseas, not like at this ministry. Hehehe…. Time is tickling away and he might be leaving sooner than expected. Good for him but who’s going to be my exercise partner? Sigh….


What to do this weekend ek. No plan yet but tau je lah kan… dengan 2 orang tu, anything can happen. Hehehe… Till then, daaaa

Confession of a husband

I’m so sleepy this morning. Arrived back home at 11.30pm last night and after some unpacking and packing, I dozed off at 1am (maybe much later coz there’s a some pillow talk session with Kak Mas). What a busy and happy weekend. I did not eat as much as I expected (coz Mak was so busy helping at a kenduri kahwin) but I went for shopping spree for 2 consecutive days with my siblings and there goes another hefty saving with retailers. As I planned, we went to TC and had a picnic there. Mira was having so much fun. Me too and I bet all of us enjoyed our evening very much. Mamat came back from UUM on Sunday and he’s on a month semester break. When I did my diploma and degree, I did not enjoy the long semester break coz UiTM did not have the same holiday as other public uni back then. I wonder what kind of activities I’ll be doing if I had the same break as they got now (wink! wink! And I’m sure Mak will go “ tak de rumah ke nak balik” hehehe) But I did have so much fun even though the holiday are soooo short.

Last Friday as I planned, I went to pick Pet (I was so near to him but a wrong turn caused me a few kilometers and half an hour searching my way back, driving alone, around KL, at night…wah so scary but funny too. I admire my courage back then. Hehehe…) and he’s the one handling the steering to Kuantan. The last time I saw him was during his wedding day and that was last year. So there’s pretty much of catching up along the way.

Ok back to the main topic for today. I was so surprised listening to Pet’s life after he tied the knot. I thought wedding supposed to be making us happier and yes it did open a new chapter in our life but what Pet went thru was totally a different story from what I imagined. His mother does not like his wife, an orphan, who is still studying at a nursing college. As the only son in his family, I just can’t imagine the challenges Pet’s have to endure to make both women happy. Luckily his mother does not mind raising his daughter. Pet even gave me some pretty good advice on dealing with in laws. Pity him kan… takpe lah Pet, sabar banyak-banyak ok. I pray to Allah that one day, everything will be just fine. Every cloud have a silver lining so sooner or later, his mother will accept the reality that no matter what, his son already married with a daughter to care for, and he’s happily in love. In the end, nothing else matter.

All this only add on to my fear of settling down coz I know myself. I’m not that good in dealing with emotions, rejections, bla bla bla. I can just hope and pray that when the time comes, I’ll have the best in laws. Well, they don’t really have to love me like their own daughter, but just accept me the way I am. I’ll have flaws, so does everyone. If they can treat me the may Mak and Abah treat their in laws, I’ll be content. Pet said I’ll be ok coz my parents are sporting; yeah Mak and Abah sure will accept the man of my choice but what about my partner? Will his parents accept me? What la Eny…. Such a worry bug btoi la I ni. Padahal bercinta pon tidak, pakwe pon tak de inikan pulak nak dapat mak mertua. Ntah ape-ape ntah. Suka serabutkan kepala sendiri. Hehehe… sajelah kan… its my nature nak buat camne…. So kene doa banyak-banyak supaya dipertemukan jodoh dengan lelaki yang baik dan dapat in laws yang baik-baik juga. Amin…..

I have a plane to catch so later ok. Banyak benda nak citer ni. Photo tak sempat nak attach, so balik kursus nanti lah ok. Daaa

Numerology of my birthdate

You posses great compassion and you seek to be of service to others. You have concern for the weak and the downtrodden. You are a healer and a helper to others. You are capable of giving comfort to those in need, and you frequently offer a shoulder for others to cry on.

Your task in life is to develop the tools necessary to be truly helpful to others, rather than to simply be a sympathetic ear. You must find the balance between help and interference. In the same way, you must learn the delicate art of the counselor who knows when to leave the struggle to others and when to avoid taking away the necessary experiences and lessons of life. You are naturally balanced. Therefore you are well equipped to support and ground others in times of trial.

It is your tendency to take responsibility, you often fill the void left by others, and you do not turn away from personal sacrifice. At times, you may feel overburdened by the travails of others. However, the love others bestow upon you is your well-deserved reward.

You try to maintain harmony within the family or group balancing and fusing divergent forces. You seek marriage and you are often a wonderful parent, offering warmth, protection and understanding to children.

You are generous, kind and attractive. You are often admired, even adored, which baffles you. You are humble, and yet carry a deep pride, You move well and gracefully, but will have to work hard to stay in shape. Seek out physical exercise and limit the sweets and dairy you crave, to keep yourself from becoming plump and round.

When young you, you must be careful not to choose partners for the wrong reasons. Do not let sentimentally influence your decisions, especially those involving the choice of a spouse. You need to be needed, but you must learn to discriminate between those you can help and others who are made weaker by your care. After all, it is in you nature to be attracted to weaker brothers and sisters among us.

The temptation and the danger for you are to think of yourself as the savior of the world carrying the burdens of others in your shoulders.

You are blessed with musical talent, as well as talent in the visual and performing arts. However, your creativity may be suppressed due to your willingness to sacrifice or your inability to fully appreciate your talents. This is not to say that you cannot excel in these areas, on the contrary, you have the talent, and with effort you can make success in a number of artistic fields.

You also have enormous talent in business. You are blessed with a great deal of charm and charisma, which you use effectively to attract the people and the support you need. Other vocations that offer you potential for success are mostly found in the areas of healing, teaching, hospitality, management of apartment complex or government institutions, and anything related to animals.

Someone will get promoted soon

I had a breakfast session with En. Afnan this morning and he told me that few of his batchmate already received their promotion letter. He and Cik Azura will be joining them too in any moment from now. There goes another 2 good colleague of mine. 1st it was Nasrol, and now both of them, leaving me and En. Mis to stay. And En. Mis will be leaving soon too for his DPA course. Sigh… I can just hope and pray that their successors will be as good as them and not like Nasrol successor. She still sucks! (sorry can’t help myself from saying that) Wanna know why? There she is sitting just beside me and yet she never says hi or anything let alone a smile. What is so difficult in saying hello or just smile lah if you don’t feel like talking. Weirdo lah that lady. Aargh let her be la. Wasting my time je talking about her. Back to my point earlier… En. Afnan and Cik Azura will be leaving soon. Not only I’ll loose a cool and funny colleague, I’ll loose an activity partner too. Then who’ll accompany me to a jogging and workout session at the gym? Baru je nak menggiatkan diri dengan lebih aktif dalam hal-hal kecergasan ni dah nak kene cari partner lain. Not an easy task though. Most of my friends either stay back doing work or pegi makan-makan, shopping-shopping etc etc. Lagipon diorang kan fit, healthy and slim. Not like me, chubby, sakit sana, sakit sini pastu lemah, asyik tak larat je. Hehehe sounds like too old already. Padahal baru 30 je. Eny…Eny…

Ok topic lain plak. Going home tonite with Pet. In case you all nak tau, Pet is a friend of mine. Real name Rizal but he still owed me the story on how he got that ‘Pet’ name. Handsome, and both of us have a striking resemblance that people used to think that we’re siblings. Hahaha don’t get me wrong, I have no feelings towards him (maybe I did but that was years before and its not love, only crush aje) plus he’s married and a proud father of a daughter. I have to fetch him from his office at National Library then he’ll drive all the way to Kuantan. A bit nervous ni coz I’m not used to drive to KL and malam plak tu. Already asked Husaili to draw me a map yesterday and both Husaili and Abg. Khairil already gave extensive explanation about the route. Hopefully I’ll make it tonite. Pray for my safety ok. I plan to start off after Maghrib coz I’ll have another workout session with En. Afnan this evening. Have to exercise sket before going home and add on a few kilos. Tau je la kan kalo kat rumah tu, ikan goreng pon sodap. Makan bertambah-tambah. Mana la tak makin gemuk. Pastu sibuk bising nak kurus. Makan tak reti nak jaga. Hampeh tul I ni kan.

Talking about losing weight ni kan, seriously, I need to loose weight. All my pants dah tak muat. Nampak ugly btoi bile orang gemuk pakai pants sendat-sendat ni. Tu blom kira usikan member-member lama yang dok tegur kegemukan I. And every time I go home, my siblings mesti cakap “ ish Kak Ngah ni makin lama makin gemuk la”. To add on to that, my parents plak cakap “ kata nak kurus tapi makin gemuk adelah”. Kind of stress gak. Yelah sebab I memang bersemangat nak kurus. Kalo tak, tak delah I terhegeh-hegeh ikut En. Afnan berjogging and ke gym. Tapi bab makan ni payah sket la. Not that I did not control what I ate, cuma nak kurangkan payah la. Yesterday, for breakfast I ate 4 pieces of toast then lunch 8 pieces of cekodok plus fruits je. Konon-konon diet la tu. Tapi balik keje lapar gile that I bantai makan 2 bungkus laksa. Abih camne… Ok la start next week kene stop makan nasi. Not that I tak pernah cuba, I did and bertahan la a few weeks tapi lepas tu hentam makan balik. My target is to loose 10 kg je. I’ll be more serious la after this. Kak Jas pon dah kurus semenjak 2 menjak ni. Ari tu, beria-ia I ajak dia kuruskan badan but then I’m still like this and she's getting slimmer everyday. Ramai orang tegur. Not that I jealous cuma… waaa I pon nak kurus gak. She ate pills to loose weight. I bukan takut makan ubat tapi I takut kalo ada side effects ni. Thanks to my 3 and a half years working experience with a pharmacy, I’ve become more conscious about medication nih. Whatever it is, I must loose weight and I must work out a plan to seriously commit myself to do that. Next week la ek coz this weekend kan nak makan banyak-banyak kat umah. (see… told you, susah nak control makan ni).

Ok lah, dah lama dok main-main ni. Got to focus back on work. Later ok.

The proof that I'm getting older...sigh

I just can’t describe what I’ve been thru these past few weeks. My emotions go haywire. Last week I was so much in lovey dovey mood. (blush) Been thinking about love, commitment, settling down, having kids around me, spending time with my future other half (and who might that be?) etc etc. (blush again) Dah terkena panahan cinta Cupid la ni. Very much indeed in loving mood that every single thing that I saw or even thought, end up on such a lovely perspective. Romantic couples holding hands la, parents sending off children to school la, babies having fun la etc etc. ( I even portrays myself doing all that in near future…hehehe) Well nothing wrong in having all that dreams or thought but, me doing that…. Hmmm there are really something wrong with me. The feeling has never been so intense before. It just like I’m all set up to open my heart, let loose the guard and let myself to love and to be love. Am I in love? I’m not sure. Even if I do, with who’s and is it really loves? What if it was just a crush? And the feeling might just faded away as the time goes by. Aaargh I just don’t have the answer for that. Or do I? Hmmm

Then come Sunday. There I was, all alone at home with nothing much to do and my mind started to do some extra works. Been reflecting back what I’ve been thru for the past few weeks. Suddenly it struck my mind that maybe; just maybe that I’m in love. Oh really? With who? (adelah…blush once more) Hmmm maybe yes maybe not. Maybe I’m just too carried away. Iyelah dah tak de benda nak pikir, mulalah nak berangan itu, berangan ini. Well I’m 30 so what do you expect. Normal la tu to think and to feel like that ok. (since when do I cares that I’m getting older ni?) Hehehe…

Shame on you Eny. No ones even notice your existence and there you are nak fall in love plak. Well I have long accepted the fact that I am not the kind of lady that can woo guy’s heart easily. Yelah I nikan tak cantik, boyish plak tu (but I’m girlier now), dressing pon ntah ape-ape ntah (I’ve changed that too), tak pandai masak langsung (kan orang kata the best way to win a guys heart is thru their tummy), sensitive and moody too (can be a bit temperamental tau) and banyak lagi la. So, sape la nak orang macam I ni. Mungkin ada dulu but then at that time I plak yang tak rase nak bercinta. Tak bersedia la, takut commitment la, tak nak terkongkong la, macam-macam alasanlah. Sekarang dah tua bangka baru terhegeh-hegeh nak bercinta. Tapi calon pulak takde. Pathetic btoi la.

Whatever it is, I have to clear up all this mess that I myself created as soon as possible and focus back on my life. Go back to reality Eny. Just let nature take it course. If it’s already written in your fate that you’ll be single all your life, then accept it with open heart and make do with whatever around you. Just enjoy your life. Bukannya mati pon kalo tak kawin and tak de anak kan. Cuma kurang bahagia je lah. Hehehe… Tak pe, then I can focus 100% on making my parents happy, taking care of my younger siblings and anak sedara kan ramai, leh la tumpang manje-manje. Kalau ada jodoh, tak ke mana, ok. Dah jangan nak sedih-sedih tak tentu hala. Pastu stress sorang-sorang Tak de sape peduli pon. Keje pon dah melambak tu. Sibuk berangan keje tak buat. Hehehehe… Like I said before, I have to be content with what I have. Ada orang yang lagi teruk nasibnye tau.

Ok-ok… pasni dah tak nak pikir pasal ni dah. Esok nak balik Kuantan. Dah tak sabar-sabar ni nak jumpa anak-anak sedaraku yang kiut miut and keletah tu. Adah, Mira and Nabila, Chek Ngah datang ni. Hehehe…...

A song sang by my heart

Aku tak mengerti

Apa yang ku rasa

Rindu yang tak pernah

Begitu hebatnya

Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu

Meski kau tak'kan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu

Telah kurelakan hatiku padamu

Namun kau masih bisu

Diam seribu bahasa

Dan hati kecilku bicara

Baru ku sadari

Cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan

Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku

Semoga waktu akan mengilhami

Sisi hatimu yang beku

Semoga akan datang keajaiban

Hingga akhirnya kau pun mau

Aku mencintaimu

Lebih dari yang kau tahu

Meski kau tak'kan pernah tahu

Sedih la lagu ni. Macam sum up my feeling right now. Tulah... suka pikir bukan-bukan pastu sendiri susah hati. Eny...Eny... Kesian kat diri sendiri ade, kelakar pon ade... Ntah ape-ape ntah. Tapi lagu Indon ni memang jiwang-jiwang and menyentuh kalbu. I like.... Kuang kuang kuang. Eh don't get me wrong tau. I bukan patah hati what so ever... saje je... hehehe

The lazy me....

I just can’t figure out what happen to me lately. Been a bit blurred at work recently. I stare blankly at my pc the whole day that I got this pain-in-the-neck thing. Not that I didn’t do any work at all just that I’m not productive. Got 2 minutes long overdue for release. Been listening to the recorded meetings over and over again but still can’t figure out what to write. And my boss will be leaving for a brainstorming sessions till end of this week. Next week both of us will attend a 3 day course on financial management. There goes 2 weeks with nothing much I can do. Works are piling in but I’m just not at the right mood. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with me just that been thinking too much lately. Its kind of personal stuff. I’ll write about that later.

This morning, I went for my MUET speaking session. I’ve waited for 2 hours before the session begins. Such a huge waste of times given that I just sit there all alone with nothing to do. If only I bring along my novel….Sigh… I was in the same group with Pn. Zainon. Her English are superb that I kind of shy a little bit but then everything went well. I did not have high hopes for my MUET test but I do not hope my grade to be on the low side neither. Pn. Zainon gave me a ride on her Volvo. I’m not into Volvo nor Mercedes but when the time come (where my bank balance triple the amount I spend) BMW will be the choice.

Going home this weekend and I just can’t wait. Mak and Abah came last weekend but I did not see them. And again when they came on Monday, I did not pick them even though Mak insisted me to come and join them for a late supper (its Eman birthday though) but I don’t know…. just not in the mood. What a bad daughter I am. Well its time to pay back this weekend. Go home and be a good daughter. Hehehe….

Dedicated to all my friend

What my birthdate said about me

Eny Yusof, your birthday color is SILVER.
You are imaginative and fun. You love trying new things. You like to challenge yourself and you learn things easily, you're easy to talk to and give good advice. When comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them forever.

What the heck....

What the hell am I doing actually? I’ve just deleted my own blog. Reason to do so? Nothing, just feel like doing it. Ok so let start from square one. This time, I have to be more diligent towards my contributions for this blog. I hope by doing so, I can improve my writing skills. And maybe my English too. The recent MUET test proves to be an eye opener for me, that my English are not that good. And I’m kind of lazy to do something about it. Well not only my English sucks, my BM too. If only I can be as good as En. Afnan in dealing with language stuff, I can at least deal with all that paperwork faster, with more brilliant ideas and less corrections by my KPSU or SUB.

Plus there are lots and lots of cool photo that I’d love to publish here. Need some advice from Didi on improving this site. Her blog is something that I look forward to read everyday, so let just hope that mine would be cool as hers too. What will happen to my space after this? Should I just abandon it or should I do some double entry? Just wait and see. There’s some cool stuff on my space that are not available in here and there’s something in here that are not available there. Hmmm….

Well that’s all for now. Back to work Eny.











p/s : Today I'm 30:30 (30 years old and 30 days) hihi

Child

Meera & Adah

Today while driving to office, I saw some parents sending off their children to school. Suddenly it struck my mind, will I ever have a child of my own? Even if I do get married and have my own child one day, I’m afraid that I might not be as energetic as I am now to let my children enjoy having me around them for all the activities. I enjoyed what I did with my nieces now, playing with them, running, jumping, and all sorts of kiddy act. Even a short trip to beach brings such a joy that I’ll be looking forward to bring them to enjoy the sea breezes every time I’m home at my parents nest. We even enjoy doing retail therapy together. I’m afraid they will follow my footstep one day (on keeping most of my money at the retailers rather than the bankers) if no one’s gave any advice to us (as if I ever cares about all the nagging before). I should learn to be financially wiser or else I’ll end up with things that I don’t really need and put my money to waste and let my nieces become my apprentices (of being a shopaholic). Sigh… another life lesson for me to master at. I wonder if I will still this active with my own child. I can only pray to God for a healthy body, mind and soul till my last breath. Hehehe…. As for the time being, I have to be content with what I have.

Bye bye twenties....

It’s been soooo long since i write something in here. I've been itching to write so many times but then I’ve been busy with works plus lazy some more. Too many things happened since my last entry. The biggest one is that I’m no longer in my twenties.... and I’ve noticed that since my 30th birthday, I’ve changed quite a lot. Maybe not too obvious to my friend but I can feel it. Something inside of me has changed. The way I view this life, love, commitment, myself, my taste bla bla bla.... have taken into a new dimension. And I never believe that I can really change just like that. I let my hair grow longer than usual (never let it touch my shoulder before), bought too many pink shirt, scarf etc, wearing make up to work, and I even browsing thru a few dresses ( ops did I just said dresses?) and I must confess that I did have second thought about getting married. Can u believed that? Me, who used to say that I’m not getting married are now thinking about having families. But I think it’s about time for me. I will never be in my twenties forever and so does in my thirties. As I said before, time changed, so does people. Let just pray and hope that I’m changing towards a better person. My biggest challenge yet is to control my emotion by learning how to express my frustration. Keeping everything to myself prove to be unhealthy for my stress level.

I didn't really celebrate my birthday this year but everyone from home called with Abah sending a funny message. I’m deeply touched with all the smses and calls especially from few friend coz I never thought that people will remember or even notice my existence. Hehehe…. Now wonder my scores for self-esteem are way too low. Something funny happened on that day too. En. Afnan invited me to join him to preview a house in Nilai. Hahaha.... of all people why me? (as if my taste are better than his). So off we go to Nilai but then it doesn't really suit our taste. Tak dapat lawan rumah En. Nasrol. So we went to Nilai 3 and put some money to a 'good use'. I’ve noticed that lately, I spend more time with En. Afnan. Breakfast, lunch (me and him… we just can’t stop eating spaghetti), we went jogging together and we’d even did some workout sessions at KBS gym. And the biggest surprise is… we went for karaoke session together. Hahaha… if only he know how I despise karaoke before he’ll be shocked. But what can I say… I enjoyed myself there. Maybe because there’s only 3 of us (plus En. Nasrol). My singing skills still suck but at least I have found courage to sing in front of audience. Hehehe….

En. Nasrol have been promoted to M44 and transferred to PD. I'm losing a good friend and a mentor. Not that I can’t see him again… just that being in a different department, our focus will differ so does the level of busyness and his help proved to be something that I always depend on. Plus… his successor is cocky and stuck up (sorry but I just can’t help myself from saying that). She definitely will have some issue working in this department. It’s a long story, sigh…. All the best to En. Nasrol in his new place and let just hope that sooner or later, ‘that lady’ will change. (but I bet it’ll be later than sooner) Sigh again….