What so bad about being on this scheme?

Someone said something hurtful yesterday; in my DPA group; no not the DPA that I love the most but the older version ones.

It started when a friend asked if anyone can help her on her transfer app. Of all the replies, comes this one.

hang kena tipon sendiri pegawai yang bahagian pertukaran JPA tuh
selalunya dia org nih PTD poyosssss
tak pun..... hang ambik cuti
mai KL.... jumpa sendiri...
coba tny ***....
sbb dia ramai contact

See that 2nd lines? The sender’s from Matrade. And to add salt to the wound, this is a reply from one so called lecturer.

aku amat setuju ngan statement si **** nih, ptd poyo padahal ilmu ntah takat mana..eksen je lebih, aku geram se ingt ke ptd nih..dok gitu ********?????he3 maaf la sesapa jd/ank branak/isteri/suami ptd...

Why do people keep condemning this scheme? What so great about your own scheme that you keep lashing out toward ours? All this make me really sad. We are all government servant. We work for the public. We should work as one. But what I see, the teachers who in their line of duty supposed to instill good values in their student are the biggest tongue lashing and very well known for their anti-PTD action. The doctors who in their line of duty have to give treatment and save peoples live are also against us. We are human and we can get sick too ok. And every other scheme too. Have you heard any of this PTD peoples launch any anti-other scheme action?

Then come this reply from a guy. Oh those up there come from ladies.

Hehehe!laser jgk hang nie noo...bkan ke eny tu PTD?

My replies sound like this;

kenapa semua orang anti ptd? apa dosa kami? ptd pun manusia biasa yang banyak kelemahan. dah berapa ramai korang jumpa ptd yang korang boleh cop ptd poyos dan sebagainya? untuk makluman, saya dah jumpa beribu ptd dan tak sampai 50 pun yang teruk dari jumlah tu. adilkah kalau kerana sorang dua punya salah, sume nak dicap poyos dan sbagainya. bagaimana pulak ptd yang keje sampai tak nampak bulan dn matahari demi untuk rakyat marhaen yang lain. poyos jugak ke diorang ni. macammmana dengan cikgu2 yang dok tibai anak murid teruk2, polis yang amik rasuah dan servis2 lain yang tak kurang teruknya. kenapa tak condemn diorang ni. bukan servis ptd yang teruk tapi beberapa manusia bergelar ptd yang mencemarkan nama servis ni tapi jangan lah kerana itu dicop semuanya sama. sia-sia belajar tinggi bab2 human resource kalau masih sama dalam melabelkan orang. kenapa cikgu2 yang anti sangat ptd ni berduyun2 mintak jadi ptd? batch saya ada berpuluh2 cikgu yang tukar nak jadi ptd. APA-APA PUN, JANGAN HANYA PANDAI MENUDING JARI PADA ORANG KERANA SATU JARI YANG KITA TUNJUK KAT ORANG, EMPAT LAGI TUNJUK KAT DIRI KITA SENDIRI.

Yes I sounded a bit emotionally there but not without reason. Never judge or label peoples.

And then come this reply from that working in Matrade.

jgn lah nak samakan perception ko ngan perception aku
ko nya perception bile jumpa ngan ptd lain
musti dia org tak kerek sbb ko pon ptd
wat per nak berlagak ngan sama2 ptd????

aku dah 8 tahun dlm gomen
aku tak kira lah plak berapa ratus ptd yang aku jumpa
aku tak kate suma ptd poyossssssss
ader tak kat mana2 statement aku ader kate sumaaaaaaaaa ptd poyosss????
tp selama aku berkhidmat dlm gomen nih....
dlm 10 org yang aku jumpa 9 ptd yang kereksssss

kalo kursus ke seminar ke kat mana2 lah
mana ader nak pandang pegawai yang bukan ptd nih
wp dia org tuh baru tak sampai setahun service
dah pandai nak mengarah2 kite org yang bukan ptd
ptd kan ke cepat naik
baru servis 5 tahun dah 48
besar lah 48 nih
gaji pon dah baper........
baru umur 28-29 dah dpt 48
besar lah kan??????

jgn ingat ptd jek yang tak sempat tgk matahari ngan bulan
aku yang bukan ptd nih pon jarang sgt kalo buleh nampak matahari ngan bulan
bulan2 pose pon jgn harap nak berbuka kat umah
selalunya berbuka kat opis...........
tp rezeki masing2 lah kan
kalo dpt minister ok...... oklah ko
kalo tak............. nasiblah

jgn kate ptd jek berkhidmat utk rakyat marhaen
ko kena ingat.... ko berkhidmat DIBAYAR GAJI
bukan freeeeeeeeeee.........
kalo sukarelawan tuh lain lah
jadinya.... niat ko dah tak ikhlas

dan jgn kate hanya polis jek yang terima rasuah
kalo tak silap akulah yang bukan ptd nih
statistik pegawai kerajaan yang byk terima rasuah adalah................
maleh lah nak sebut kan....
kang ader plak yang melenting

aku rase kalo sekadar komen yang bukan serius mcm nih pon ko takleh terima
sia2 jek korang gi course DPA yang konon2 nya nak MEMPERKASAKAN ptd
tahan suma bentuk cabaran................. kononlah

well.....
that's my view....
korang nak terima ke tak ke
masing2 lah kan...........
ADIOSSSSSSSSSS

Very cruel and hurtful huh. How do you join a battle (on serving the public, develop our beloved country, educating the mass) if you hate your own man (government servant on other scheme; PTD especially). And FYI, I've joined numerous activities involving staff of lower grade or of different scheme but I treat everyone the same. And I bet most of my fellow friend too. And of course I NEVER have any special treatment or privileges simply because I'm a PTD.

Enough said. This is not something new. We can read this thing from newspaper all the times but to received it from your own friend is very hurtful. We must be strong towards all this attack. Our heart, our intention and how we deal with our work is the utmost important. For that friend, I’m sorry you feels like that coz its shows who you really are (your mentality) and obviously you didn’t have the chance to get to know (or you choose to close your eyes when you see ones) gazillions of great PTD out there.

Derhaka kah?

As decided in yesterday meeting, the family day will be held at Marina Cove, Lumut. Does this name ring any bell to anyone of you? Right, that orange (I think so) building just in front of OBML. OBML; the place I just soooo love coz I had soooo much fun there discovering amazing things about myself. And of course on others too.

And Abah would be joining me on that day. Abah and Mamat are coming down tonight, arriving around midnight from Kuantan. When I heard that they would arrive around midnight, I was a bit bengang coz I don’t fancy driving alone at night, KL some more. That make me feel bad about myself coz obviously I am soooo selfish. Sometimes I hate myself for being too easily triggered off.

I reasoned with myself last night, to cool down. Abah took all the trouble to come and yet just because of that small matter, this ungrateful daughter nak bengang tak tentu pasal. I didn’t really say anything but I guess Mak can sense my uneasiness already. Thinking back about yesterday makes me feel really bad. And Abah was not like sengaja to take the night trip; he got to take Mak from office first. Those facts only increase my guilt towards them.

This morning Abah called and explain the reason and he asked if I’m brave enough to pick him up tonight. After last night talking to myself thingy, I just said yes. Just now, Bang Long called and just like Abah, he too asked whether I’m brave enough to drive tonight. Apparently Mak called him last night and asked to pick up Abah; I guess Mak sensed the uneasiness from my tone.

At first I told Bang Long that yeah I can drive there but since he’s on afternoon shift tomorrow and he’s willing to do so, I just let him la kan. Praise to Allah for making things easier for me. After this, come what may, I will try not to easily trigger off anymore, especially when it involves my parents.

Oh Abah said he’ll bring my favourite squid (the large fresh squid) and he’ll cook sambal tomorrow. Hmmm yummy. Syoknya, can hardly wait to enjoy this weekend getaway with Abah. Hopefully I’m lucky enough to bring home some good stuff from that lucky draw.

I wish I and my family have phone that can do teleconference

Decision making can be tough sometimes especially when it involves others and stuff that is beyond our control. Ok the situation is like this;

My department planned to have our family day this weekend. The problem is we haven’t decided on the place yet but most probably it’ll be in Lumut. At first we decided to do it at PD but the cost incurred there is slightly higher than at Lumut so we’ll be having yet another meeting this afternoon to decide. Hopefully this would be the final meeting regarding thsi matter.

I planned to bring Mamat and Taha along. Mamat will come here tomorrow from Kuantan; he went home earlier than Taha. Taha is still at Sintok and his bus to Kuantan is at 6.30pm tomorrow. He already bought the ticket (my fault for not inviting him earlier) and they (the bus operator) don’t want to buy back the ticket even at half price. So he might be going down halfway at Gombak and that would be around 1-3am.

My surgery will be on next Tuesday. I planned to have my recovery leave at Kuantan so the plan is for Taha to send me to hospital that morning, took me home and off to Kuantan either on that day itself or on Wednesday, depending on my discharge time.

Abah is worried about the surgery because it involves general anesthetic, pulling out 4 teeth at one go is serious business ok and anything can happen right (nauzubillah). He wants Mak to accompany me along but Mak working schedule next week is a bit tight I guess. So Abah plan to come down here himself to oversee things at the hospital. He’s anxious because he thinks Mamat and Taha can’t handle stuff like that. How come I never thought of that huh. I thought it just a simple one; go there, pull out the teeth, wake up and recover, discharge and have Taha to pick me home. Abah think beyond that, to handle the hospital matter, to take care of me while waiting to recover from the anesthetic effects, to take care of me if the need to be warded arise, and to drive me home to Kuantan. Abah is so sweet huh, make me sad only.

The thing that I need to decide are;

If Abah is to come, when should he come? Told him that he have to tag along for that family day if he come tomorrow. Or maybe he would come on Monday since no one at home (Putrajaya) during weekend. And if Abah come, Taha have to go home to Kuantan and take over Abah job; the executive chauffeur. Yup Abah is our family executive chauffeur since no one else can drive.

If Taha decided to join me, who’s going to pick him up at that wee hour? Gombak is quite far from here. But I guess since Mamat would already be here, he can accompany me, right?

Abah worries is not groundless thus I became worried too. Who’s going to take care of me? Ok I know Mamat and Taha can become responsible man if the need arise (not that they are not responsible enough before but you know la things with young guys like them ni) but yes to have my parents around me during that time would be far better.

So how huh? There’s another option; Taha can join me for that family day but he has to go home on Sunday so Abah can come here on Monday. But then Taha would be seriously exhausted by then. Hmmm… if everyone in one place easy la to discuss but to be in 3 different state ni quite difficult la; have to call Abah, then call Taha, then call Abah back, and Taha back, call Mak in between that (coz Mak at her office now). Teleconference anyone? Hehehe…

Hard to decide la now and with all this mounting papers on my table, it became harder to think let alone to decide. Sigh….

Chef in the making

I’ve been trying to cut my food intake these past few weeks and everything went well until last weekend. On Saturday, I feel like eating spaghetti so after breakfast, I started to prepare the ingredients. I’ve cooked spaghetti numerous times before but it’s always for the whole family or at least for 4 to 5 person thus I didn’t know how to cook it in a small portion.

So I invited Shikin to come over for lunch. I invited En. Afnan, En. Nasrol and Sal too but everyone can’t make it. I invited Fad too and she came (actually I pick her up) after Shikin left my place; Shikin can’t stay long coz she’s leaving for Sabah that evening. She likes my spaghetti so much (thank you) that she wanted some as her in-flight meal. So there’s only half left.

Luckily I invited Fad; pemakan yang hebat! I already had my lunch with Shikin and yet when Fad came, I eat again; spaghetti and one full mug of ice-cream. My tummy was so full its hurt. Fad had ice-cream too and she tops it up with cookies. Man, she really can eat! That evening she ate more ice-cream and cookies. For dinner we finished off the leftover of that spaghetti (not so much left) and she continues with another round of ice-cream and cookies.

I managed to persuade Fad to sleep over at my place. Hehehe… she actually wanted to watch some drama that night but I bribe her with some DVD. And yes we had dinner at my large balcony, looking at the star, the airplanes (you can actually see KLIA runaway with all the pretty light from my home) and of course the lake and the surrounding area.

On Sunday, we had breakfast at noon; had to wait for Fad to wake up before going to market to get some cooking ingredients. She planned to cook chicken asam pedas. I was seriously hungry by then. It was nearly 11am; I always had my breakfast around 8am. But I didn’t know what struck me, didn’t buy anything for breakfast instead I bought some ingredients and I cooked fried noodles for our brunch. Alhamdulillah both my weekend cooking turned out to be pretty delicious (ops sori bakul bocor); it was my first attempt cooking fried noodles for others. Fad kept on complimenting my cooking that she herself quite anxious to cook the asam pedas; afraid that it might not turn up as good as mine. Hehehe…

Her asam pedas was edible but there’s something missing. Not sure what it was. We had very late lunch, around 4pm just before Dayah came and took us to Mydin and Alamanda. She sent me home around 7pm. Well that was all on my weekend.

I used to hate cooking and there are only few dishes that I can cook but since I live on my own, my desire to cook increases especially on pasta’s recipe. But to cook and to eat alone is no fun; got to invite some friend who wouldn’t mind the fact of me not having any entertainment thingy (TV, radio) around to come over for cooking-eating session.

I’m aiming a cooking book (terkejut tak on my drastic change? I myself also) on pasta but my deficit budget wouldn’t allow me to buy it now. Until then, if anyone got some simple pasta recipe to share, I would be very delighted.

My second surgery

Last Friday morning, I’ve been to 2 clinics and a hospital. First I went to dental clinic at Precint 8. The hospitality there was very good, not like what others told me. Since my case is quite complicated; involve a surgery and what not, they referred me to dental specialist at Putrajaya Hospital. The staff and the dentist at that hospital were really good and friendly too. Again not like what peoples used to criticize before. Went back to my private dentist for the x-ray film in which I was told can be done for free at government hospital. Tsk…

All my wisdom tooth need to be removed so I was given 2 choices; to do half-half (upper and lower right and upper and lower left) with local anesthetic or all at one go in which I would be given general anesthetic (totally unconscious). It’s hard to choose but I opt to remove all at once. It’ll be a great pain; both side but only once. If I choose the half-half procedure, got to suffer twice.

So the date was set and it’ll be on this coming 26th. So fast huh, I thought if with government hospital I got to wait longer but apparently the services is improving. The night before I would have to fast and register at the day care center in the morning. If I came early then I would be the first patient but if not have to wait la. Normally there would be 4 surgeries a day and if everything goes well, by evening I can go home already. But if I’m not the first patient or if I got any complications after the surgery, I might have to be warded that night. The nurse told me that normally they would wait till the patient conscious, pee and what not before being discharge. Just like my acute appendicitis surgery before. The nurses would be asking either I have pass gasses quite few times. I didn’t know why then but I know why now; it’s because they pumped gasses into your body during the surgery so the organ would be a bit loose, thus easier to be operated on. But I don’t think mouth surgery would need that.

To be honest, I’m quite scared la. Didn’t know what to expect but for sure there would be great pain after. How to eat, how to brush my teeth, how to talk? Must be really painful huh. Takutnya… Please pray for me ok.

Ziarah Hijrah

This has been in my draft for soooo long, nearly forgotten about it already. No time to update the whole stories so tengok gambar sajelah ye.

The banner, welcoming us the participant

Never in my life seeing begini banyak 4x4 at one place. Very teruja ok

The trail to our destiny; in my place, Kg. Tanah Abang, Mersing

Luckily it's a kampung pingiran; meaning not really the hardcore rural kampung

This is where most of the activities were held

Cooking center; handled by JHEOA staff so no worries, halal food all the time

Just arrived and delighted to see the not so bad kampung

Me and my so-called anak angkat. Actually there was a colouring contest for family but since not so many adult turn out and there was many kids around, we decided to become the konon-konon mak angkat la

We didn't win anything, just tumpang posing with Naras & kids prizes

Can you believe that all this kid just come out from the school van. One whole van, seriously lebih teruk from sardines cramped in a tin.

Just beside the school building, very calming eh. Sure otak tak rasa serabut or stress. Mata pun tak rabun

Filling up the form for some dental check up. The dentist tu handsome jugaklah and got spiky hair

Bila dah tak de keje, kita posing la kan

Main musical chair sementara nak tunggu lunch. Yang jatuh tu bukan orang asli ok

Dekat sekolah dah dapat hadiah, balik sekolah dapat hadiah lagi. Syok woo jadi orang asli ni

See that boy behind tu? Hah tu real hair ok. Bukan dye punya. Ramai orang asli got that hair colour sebab selalu mandi sungai and jemur kat panas, kind of rosak la tu

Tengah beratur, nak main sukan petang tu. I played some games too tapi pic tak de

Cikgu-cikgu ni, mentang-mentang la mengajar kat sekolah orang asli, perangai pun dah macam diorang jugak. Ops no offence towards any orang asli ye

That ustaz, macam lucah sedikit ok. He asked the murid-murid, "Jim (huruf jawi) teteknya dimana?" Then he answered, " Jim teteknya ditengah-tengah". He changed the word titik to tetek. So Ba (huruf jawi again) teteknya berapa?" I know he tried to melawak but macam tak sesuai ok

This game is called "semakin jauh semakin sayang"

This boy asyik berkepit aje dengan we all sepanjang program. Kemas and bersih saje. He's christian. Nama Gabriel something kut.

Hebat budak-budak orang asli ni. Sangat lasak

Dah nak balik

The housemates. See that kakak yang pakai baju purple tu? Everytime mandi, she'll wash her clothes. Last-last kitorang nak mandi air tak de. Sabar ajelah. But semua pun best, friendly and happening gitu

It's coming back

I’ve been washing clothes using my hand since errr forever. Hehehe… tak lah… since I’m in standard four and it went on right until I finished school. But I guess my skin was tougher that time. Just some occasional peeling but not so serious.

During my uni time, my skin started to show it manjaness. I hand-washed all my laundries and my skins became very sensitive and getting worsens everyday. It peels off like nobody business. Sometimes it was so bad that I can’t touch anything without feeling that burning sensation. I had to use fork and spoon to eat most of the times.

I remember one of my friend; Linda. Seeing my so bad skin conditions, she offered to wash my clothes. Very kind of her huh; but I said no coz I don’t want to burden her. Sometimes I would stay at a friend’s house for a meal and their specialties; salted fish. Sangat sedap ok. But to eat that using fork and spoon was not so thrill enough. Unfortunately I can’t touch the fish barehanded; pedih.

Sometimes it was so bad that I have to peeled off the skin from my finger/foot; big pieces of it ok. Normally after bath or when I touched waters; toilet break, washing hands etc. Not painful but it looks ugly. Urgh….

I thought that peeling skin was some sort of history since I used glove if I got to do some serious washing, and I owned a washing machine to do my laundry now but how wrong I am. It’s happening again. It looks so ugly and yes everything feels so rough with it. Very uncomfortable la. Malu also when peoples see it.

I bet royal princess pun got tougher skin than mine. Oh… does that mean I’m of higher standard/class than royal princesses? Hehehe…

What you will see is only the beginning. During it's peak time, it can be uglier than this.

My left hand

My right hand

Trip to Sabah

Somewhere in the middle of South China Sea

Tioman Island (if I'm not mistaken la)

Food served on flight; the sate was very nice

Welcome to Sabah



The view from my room

Can you see the rumah rakit?

Ok zoom sket kasi nampak

Sunset at 6.07pm

We had our dinner at Kampung Nelayan. The first show that night was Sumazau Dance

Some tourist learning the dance. Got few more dance after that tapi malas nak upload, gambar gegar

Mari kita menyumpit

Lobster yang saaangat besar

Ada ke orang nak makan ni?

The view at 6.30am. I bukak the curtain to see sunrise sekali tengok dah terang-benderang macam ni

Macam dah tengahari sebab matahari dah terik

Yayasan Sabah yang selalu masuk tv tu

Mini Putrajaya; we had our meeting there


Tempat penternakan ikan dalam sangkar; sangat besar ok

Time to feed the fish

Semuanya kelaparan

The 2 big siakap; the first breed yang tinggal and diorang bela sampai dah besar macam ni.

My only pic, tak de orang nak tolong amikkan gambar coz the place macam tak berapa nak balance sangat, berayun-ayun sebab rakit atas air

Cikgu Lokman sedang memantau nak muridnya yang sedang asyik melihat pelbagai jenis ikan

Ikan apa ntah namanya

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