This is still about Lina’s wedding. But on a different tones. Something really pissed me off on that day. I’m sharing this because I hope we can learn something from it. But before that, a peek on the history of my mom’s family.
My late grandfather has 3 wives. My mom is the eldest of 8 from his 1st wife. The 2nd wife has no children while the 3rd wife has many but I don’t know the exact figure because we rarely meet. Of these 8 children, my mom and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents (my great grandparents) at KL while the other 6 were raised at Kedah by their own parents (my grandparents).
Eventually everyone came down to KL to start off their career and family. Only Pak Teh (the 5th) stayed on in Kedah. Pak Chik (the 4th) is here but his families were in Kedah too.
Mak and Mak Ngah bought a house very near to each other; facing together at the kitchen. Mak Lang (the 3rd) and Mama Tam (the 6th) followed suit. Mak Lang house is only around 200-300m away while Mama Tam’s is at a street behind Mak Lang’s. Mak Ndak (the 7th) and Mak Su (the 8th) also live and work here in KL.
However, due to my dad’s nature of work, we were away since 86 when we moved to Kuching, Sarawak and to Kuantan, Pahang since 91. Datuk passed away on 94 and Nenek moved to KL since 2002/2003.
They (those who live in KL) used to be very closed with each other. But as time goes by, there’s a distance among them. All sort of crisis and what not. Very near with each other but so far away in every other thing.
My parents are the one who travels all the way to KL for every kenduri’s, on hari raya and when they came here to meet us (Bang Long, Eman and me) they would visit the siblings too. Sometimes Mak Ngah and her family would visit us in Kuantan too.
So, back to the thing that pissed me off that day. On Lina’s wedding, there’s only our family and Pak Chik who came. Mak Lang and Mama Tam who live in the same area didn’t come. Same goes to the other 2 aunty. Pak Teh and family are spared for they are far away in Kedah. But for me, if my parents can travel all the away from Kuantan to KL, to Alor Star or to Lenggong for every kenduri or anything, why can’t they do the same?
This is your own family for God sake. Where has all the love gone? Even my own Nenek didn’t show up. But the other Nenek and Datuk were there. As I said earlier, Mak and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents so they are very closed with their aunties and uncles until now. For every kenduri, we would see the late Tok Ngah and Nek Ngah, Tok Lang and Nek Lang, Tok Chik and Nek Chik, Nek Uda, Nek Teh and Tok Busu with Nek Usu. And mind you, not only them but their children come too. There would be a whole bunch of cousins and second cousins. If they can come, why can’t this own siblings do the same?
In fact when all this Tok and Nenek host a kenduri or wedding, it would be the same us who come; and my mom’s siblings never turn up. They used to be there too but I don’t know what happen that kept them away. But I guess they are the one who distance away. When you stay away from your own family and relatives, they would eventually stay away from you too.
For me, we can never stay away or disown our family and relatives for these are the peoples who would be there when you in dire need, especially your own siblings. This serve as reminder to me and to every one else that no matter what, family come first. Life is too short to hate each other.
Bang Long asked be why I’m so emotional on this matter but I guess I deserve to feel disappointed because they are so close and yet doesn’t really care to show some face just to jaga hati at least. Sigh…
If only Datuk is still alive, I don’t think things would end this way. I hope things would turn out better in future. I miss those times when we were together, preparing for meals during Ramadhan and hari raya, teasing and joking with each other and burning the midnight oil doing nothing but talking. Everything changed when Datuk passed away. No one cares about each other anymore. There’s only fight and crisis and mostly on silly matter.
I wonder when will they realize that they are hurting each other with their act. One day, when Nenek passed on, would they still wanted to stay away? Who would they turn to if they need any help? I’m ok with all my cousins but I don’t know why the uncles and aunties have heart to act that way. They are on speaking term but they don’t really care to at least visit the house or to attend any kenduri. They kind of ignoring each other. I seriously can’t understand this.
I hope and pray that my family would be sparred of this thing. I hope and pray that no matter what, we would always be like we are now, despite all our cat-fight, we would always be the same silly us who teased each other mercilessly, who talked over silly matter over and over again and who challenge each other on the loudest fart or burp. Love your family when they are still alive coz when they gone, there would be no other 2nd chance.
My late grandfather has 3 wives. My mom is the eldest of 8 from his 1st wife. The 2nd wife has no children while the 3rd wife has many but I don’t know the exact figure because we rarely meet. Of these 8 children, my mom and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents (my great grandparents) at KL while the other 6 were raised at Kedah by their own parents (my grandparents).
Eventually everyone came down to KL to start off their career and family. Only Pak Teh (the 5th) stayed on in Kedah. Pak Chik (the 4th) is here but his families were in Kedah too.
Mak and Mak Ngah bought a house very near to each other; facing together at the kitchen. Mak Lang (the 3rd) and Mama Tam (the 6th) followed suit. Mak Lang house is only around 200-300m away while Mama Tam’s is at a street behind Mak Lang’s. Mak Ndak (the 7th) and Mak Su (the 8th) also live and work here in KL.
However, due to my dad’s nature of work, we were away since 86 when we moved to Kuching, Sarawak and to Kuantan, Pahang since 91. Datuk passed away on 94 and Nenek moved to KL since 2002/2003.
They (those who live in KL) used to be very closed with each other. But as time goes by, there’s a distance among them. All sort of crisis and what not. Very near with each other but so far away in every other thing.
My parents are the one who travels all the way to KL for every kenduri’s, on hari raya and when they came here to meet us (Bang Long, Eman and me) they would visit the siblings too. Sometimes Mak Ngah and her family would visit us in Kuantan too.
So, back to the thing that pissed me off that day. On Lina’s wedding, there’s only our family and Pak Chik who came. Mak Lang and Mama Tam who live in the same area didn’t come. Same goes to the other 2 aunty. Pak Teh and family are spared for they are far away in Kedah. But for me, if my parents can travel all the away from Kuantan to KL, to Alor Star or to Lenggong for every kenduri or anything, why can’t they do the same?
This is your own family for God sake. Where has all the love gone? Even my own Nenek didn’t show up. But the other Nenek and Datuk were there. As I said earlier, Mak and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents so they are very closed with their aunties and uncles until now. For every kenduri, we would see the late Tok Ngah and Nek Ngah, Tok Lang and Nek Lang, Tok Chik and Nek Chik, Nek Uda, Nek Teh and Tok Busu with Nek Usu. And mind you, not only them but their children come too. There would be a whole bunch of cousins and second cousins. If they can come, why can’t this own siblings do the same?
In fact when all this Tok and Nenek host a kenduri or wedding, it would be the same us who come; and my mom’s siblings never turn up. They used to be there too but I don’t know what happen that kept them away. But I guess they are the one who distance away. When you stay away from your own family and relatives, they would eventually stay away from you too.
For me, we can never stay away or disown our family and relatives for these are the peoples who would be there when you in dire need, especially your own siblings. This serve as reminder to me and to every one else that no matter what, family come first. Life is too short to hate each other.
Bang Long asked be why I’m so emotional on this matter but I guess I deserve to feel disappointed because they are so close and yet doesn’t really care to show some face just to jaga hati at least. Sigh…
If only Datuk is still alive, I don’t think things would end this way. I hope things would turn out better in future. I miss those times when we were together, preparing for meals during Ramadhan and hari raya, teasing and joking with each other and burning the midnight oil doing nothing but talking. Everything changed when Datuk passed away. No one cares about each other anymore. There’s only fight and crisis and mostly on silly matter.
I wonder when will they realize that they are hurting each other with their act. One day, when Nenek passed on, would they still wanted to stay away? Who would they turn to if they need any help? I’m ok with all my cousins but I don’t know why the uncles and aunties have heart to act that way. They are on speaking term but they don’t really care to at least visit the house or to attend any kenduri. They kind of ignoring each other. I seriously can’t understand this.
I hope and pray that my family would be sparred of this thing. I hope and pray that no matter what, we would always be like we are now, despite all our cat-fight, we would always be the same silly us who teased each other mercilessly, who talked over silly matter over and over again and who challenge each other on the loudest fart or burp. Love your family when they are still alive coz when they gone, there would be no other 2nd chance.
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