Sunday, July 20, 2008

Freaky emo me

I spend the whole Saturday doing something that I’m really good at; crying. I cried a bucket *err more I think* just by watching tv. I was so bored so did some channel-surfing. Ish sume cerita Hindi ni. But there’s one movie *Hindi la of course sebab Saturday afternoon mana ada cerita lain kan* that caught my attention. Haven’t watch Hindi movies for ages ok. Actors cerita ni Amitabh Batchan and Akshay Kumar. It was about the love and drama between a father and son. Sedih gila cerita ni that I end up having sore eyes after that. The freaky emo me sudah kembali. Been busy with so many thing that haven’t got time to do all this leisure thingy for quite sometimes.

Cerekarama on an orphan named Aliff pun menyebabkan I menangis juga. Actually the stories tak de la so strong sangat tapi entah la… maybe kesedihan petang tadi tak habis lagi kut, tu yang berlarutan sampai malam. Pedih mata ni dok menangis aje. Ish nasib baik bukan tengok movie ngan kengkawan kalo tak sure sampai mati tak habis diorang gelakkan I.

I memang begini ok. I cried easily. Nampak macam ganas tapi hati sangat fragile *people keep saying this to me again and again and again* Ntah la gila mental ke apa tapi I memang senang menangis. Baca buku nangis, tengok tv nangis, marah nangis, gembira pun nangis apatah lagi kalau sedih kan. Dengar orang bercerita nangis, tengok orang nangis pun I nangis. My empathy level sangat tinggi that I can feel what other people feel. Hmm I rasa I can be a good actress coz I can menjiwai dan menghayati watak dengan sangat baik. Tapi tak boleh kot coz I sangat pemalu. Cewah… pemalu konon.

I was inspired to become a psychologist *dulu-dulu la tu sebelum my uni days*. My friend suka sangat meluahkan masalah diorang kat I *starting at the tender age of 12 ok* and I love helping them, kalau tak dapat settlekan pun at least diorang dapat meluahkan apa yang diorang rasa so the burden can be eased sket la kan. Luckily I tak dapat jadi psychologist tu kalau tak I pulak yang end up menangis sepanjang hayat and tak lama terus kena masuk mental hospital. Hehehe…

Well sebab tu lah kawan-kawan, I menangis masa kat tentera dulu ye. I tak suka orang marah-marah serta memaki hamun dan menyumpah seranah. Sedangkan kena perli pun I dah terasa hati, inikan pula kena apa yang kita kena masa kat sana. Even though I know that everything was not intended for personal attack, cuma sebagai latihan but still I can’t control my heart yang seterusnya menghantar impuls to my brain and the tear glands at my eyes tu. Till today the coach at kem tentera tu masih mengusik I coz they said I’m the only Mak Sidang yang menangis. *ye la tu…. mesti ramai lagi, saje je diorang tak nak bagitau tu…*

This week akan jadi sangat busy. Monday ke Parlimen. Tuesday ke MOF. Wednesday final touch on JPKA paper and slides. Thursday meeting JPKA and auditee for star rating. Dah la jadi Peg. Bertugas BPA lagi. Minutes JKPAK pun tak siap lagi ni. Wah dah terasa kepenatan untuk minggu ni. Nasib baik tadi dah siap iron baju untuk the whole week. And nasib baik juga dah rehat cukup-cukup 2 hari ni. Wokeh nak tengok tv ni. Daaa

No comments: