Things happen for a reason

Due to some unforeseen twist of event, I was forced to go private for 2 days. I need time to think, to mend the broken heart and to gain back my composure. I was away for a week and came back totally excited to update on the lovely journey I had but little did I know something bad, really bad that it tarnished my reputation had happened on that week.

When I started this blog, I just want to write for myself. But then few friends came to know about it and they read it. Although this is a public blog but I don’t have that many readers (from the hit and track back) and the readers are all the same and I know them.

If you know me long enough, you will know that I have difficulties in expressing my anger especially towards those who triggered it. I have very sensitive soul. I don’t like people to shout at me, curse at me or even stares at me with that killing stares. It can hurt so much although you might not notice it coz when I’m sad, I preferred to cry alone (unless when I can’t controlled it anymore). That’s why when I’m saddened with something I won’t talk about it until I can make sure I have control over my tear ducts.

Same goes when I’m angry. I don’t just go and shout or curse at people. The worse thing I said would be stupid and even then it still make me feel bad to utter that word because I myself don’t like to be called stupid. But I’m human, as much as I tried to control my anger (and my mouth) still sometimes things might goes out of control.

Sometimes when friends did or said something hurtful, I’ll write it here. Some friends might notice that it was them that were in the story. Then it was time to talk and discuss and correct what was wrong. But some friends didn’t notice at all but I wouldn’t mind that because like I said earlier, I have this ability to nurse my own heart. And there’s even a whole bunch of friend that didn’t know I have this blog so obviously they might not know that I was hurt by them or angry with them. But it is still ok because once I’ve said things that make me sad or angry; I’ll be bouncing back with my normal happy-go-lucky-self.

So if you might notice, I was so angry over something at work right after I came back from PD. I wrote that in here. I have never expected friend that I trust would show it to others who have never known me but have bad judgment towards me just by reading that one angry entry. One thing leads to another and suddenly I was called by the kay-as-you to his office to discuss about my blog. To be called by that Mr. no 1 over this matter really shocked me but I was calm and managed to stay calm until the end.

I have high respect towards him in handling this matter. Let just kept what he said as a secret but I’m happy with it. The only thing that left me a bit heavyhearted was when he said maybe I should just privatize my blog. There’s something I said in here is quite sensitive but it was not about the angry entry. I said ok and that’s why it went private for 2 days. I tried to put some protection towards that entry but with no avail. So I decided to remove that one sensitive entry and go public again.

These past 2 days has really shaken me. I didn’t sleep at all last Monday. I’ve lost trust and respect towards certain people. I was so sad that I even cried over this supposed to be silly matter. At first I can’t really shared it with friends for not many know I have blog right. But I was shocked on the supports I got from friends who read my blog. And few colleagues who only learn about my blog only on Monday also gave me good support. They said this is my blog and I have right to write anything on it. I can never agree more.

Things happen for a reason. What has happened has happened. Nothing I can do to turn the time back. But I have learnt a lesson too from this incident. Don’t write anything on one particular people and don’t just simply trust people. I know I always said that life is too short to hold grudges against people but I am not a person who can easily forgive and forget. I tend to keep everything in my heart. It might sound bad but that is who I am. However I can assure you that it won’t be long. It’s not easy but I’ll try.

To those who came to this blog only to find fault, you are not invited. If you don’t like what you read or saw here then just please stay away. Concentrate on your own life instead of making other’s miserable.

To those who read this silently, welcome on board. And thanks for your support.

Let just get back on being the bouncing me.