I'm LEMAU

Help…. I need help. I got tonne of work to do and one minutes that already took too long to finish and yet I kind of blur like that. It’s like am losing ideas to write. That is not good ok. I have to finish this minutes. I even put dateline for myself but I just can’t seem to write anything. Minutes should be out 3 days after the meetings but now it’s like a month already.

I work best under pressure. When there’s no pressure, inilah jadiknya. Lemau. Aggghhh tensionnya when this ‘lemau’ syndrome took over me.

By hook or by crook, I have to finish it by next week. Selagi this minutes tak disiapkan, hati I takkan tenang ok. Berserabut otak dok fikir pasal minutes ni. I memang tabik spring to those yang boleh buat minutes in 3 days. Memang hebat.


And for that, walaupun baru je tadi I kata En. Nasrol ni tak cukup jantan, tapi bab buat minutes ni dia memang hebatlah. Dia buat minutes untuk mesyuarat pengurusan and post-cab. Hebat tuuu. Ayat dia dah la power-power. Kagum tak terhingga I. En. Afnan pun hebat dalam bidang penulisan ni. Memang kagum habis lah ngan both of them. Kenapa la bab tu I tak plak terikut-ikut ek. Kalo bab berdrama tu cepat je I ikut. Benda-benda yang baik ni tak nak plak ikut ek.

Kenapalah jadi PTD ni kena wat minutes. Bencilah macam ni.

Si penakut makan ubat

Eh ada sesuatu yang agak errr… memalukan(?) telah berlaku. Just now. Ada orang tu (En. N*s*o*), dia demam. Agaknya tertekan memikirkan Hari Kualiti esok la ni. Pastu dok merengek-rengek nak panadol dari pagi tadi. I suh minum 100plus je tapi nak jugak panadol.

So baru kejap tadi I bagilah dia panadol suh makan. Boleh tak this guy, makan panadol bersalut asam. Cesss memalukan btoi. Nama je lelaki tapi penakut nak makan ubat. Last time I saw someone eating the meds like that was when Yuzi, a friend of mine masa kat U dulu makan panadol bersalut buah pisang. Rupa-rupanya lelaki pun ada gak yang makan ubat nak salut-salut ni.

Adik-adik I pun tak makan ubat macam tu. Main telan aje coz my parents tak de manja-manjakan we all bila nak makan ubat ni.

Eeeeiiii tak macho betul la si N*s*o* ni. Boleh tak, I usik-usik la dia;

Hei hilang lah kejantanan u makan ubat macam tu.

Tak pelah… biarlah I tak nampak ‘jantan’ di mata u. (as long as I nampak jantan di mata *tut*) – ni I la tambah sendiri ni.

Amboi-amboi…. sejak dah ada something-something dengan someone tu dah pandai ye…. Ops!

Is this a prob or what?

Someone is trying to woo me. How to say no without hurting his pride? Yeah maybe he’s just fooling me around kan. But someone told me that this person like me. But I don’t like him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like hating him just errr… how to say huh? He’s not my type? But what type is my type then? But the bottom line is; I don’t think he’s the one.

I feel like geli like that when someone tries to sweet-talk with me. Especially those whom I don’t have feeling for. If for gurau-gurau; like some friends did, I wouldn’t mind but if I sensed that it’s not gurau type then I kind of ‘geli’? But I won’t show la my geliness, I just act normal or would just laugh…. a fake laugh if you can sense it.

Tak best la like this. For I would have to run or hide when I see this guy, something that I don’t really have to do actually. I would feel uncomfortable if he’s around coz I have this I’m-being-watch feels. Pity both of us kan.

Well… I suppose I should just act like there’s nothing happened right. Just pretend like he’s just teasing me like what others did. Hope as time goes by, his feeling towards me will fade away. The sooner the better. Hehehe…

No more senaman tekak

Yesterday I had dinner with En. Afnan and En. Nasrol at Kenny Rogers. Makan with En. Afnan, tanpa drama adalah tidak lengkap ok. And people teased me for being oh-so-drama-queen. Ni Tok Guru I ni. Lagi teruk ok.

Day before that En. Afnan did invite me for senaman-tekak ni. (karaoke session la...) And yesterday he invited again. But actually I've told myself, no more karaoke after Ramadhan.

When I was with Guardian, during lunch break, those staff would ask me to join them for a session but I always said no. I rather walk alone than being in that small room.

Last year, there was one day when some friends went to karaoke and I was actually with them for a shopping session. So I just had to drag myself in that room. Everyone enjoyed themselves but not me. I cough non-stop coz I can't stand the smoke.

Then this year, En. Afnan telah berjaya membawa I untuk berkaraoke. I'm a lousy singer. My voice is horrendous and singing in front others is downright embarrassing for me. But with them, nothing seems to be important.

We went there few times, with En. Nasrol too. To be honest, I actually enjoyed those session with this two guys. They would laugh their heart out at me; especially En. Afnan lah kan but I seem not to care at all. From someone being too conscious on people judgment, I've changed into I-don't-give-a-damn-at-all.

But I have this inner thought. When I did something that I deem as not a good me act, this inner thought will keep reminding me to stop. That’s how I felt when I started this karaoke thing. I had so much fun but I felt guilty too.

I’m not going to elaborate more on why I think karaoke is something bad coz I know a lot of friend who enjoyed karaoke and as a friend I do not want them to feel offended.

But I guess En. Afnan did feel that yesterday. I’m not labeling him as bad person for enjoying karaoke but maybe he think that I think of that. I know he really want me to join him yesterday but I have to decline.

I love music. I still do. And I would sing aloud; at my workstation, in the car, at home; all the time. But not karaoke. I’m just not into it.

Guess we need to find other way to release the stress together; besides the normal retail therapy. Any suggestion?

What makes a man sexy?

What makes a man sexy? What huh? Oh actually it’s the topic on radio this morning. So, what makes a man sexy?

These are some of the guys who I think is sexy. But it’s not even the tip of an iceberg for if I put everyone who I think is sexy; I might just have to create a new blog just for them.

Sexy man on earth.

Yummilicious.... Tapi awek dia tak nak plak kat dia. Siap kena halau plak tu. Siannnn

Sexiest eyes ever. Mata dia macam berair sket.... sometimes bila dia melihat... ohhh penuh dengan perasaan. Fell in love masa tengok cerita Tristan & Isolde. Kalaulah dapat boipren macam ni....

Ni salah sorang dari boipren korea I. Sexy tang senyum dia tu.... oh tergolek-golek terkena panahan senyuman dia ni....

Need I say more? Tapi kan... dia ni gay eh? Dah hensem-hensem gay la plak.... so jangan salahkan perempuan yang kawin lambat macam I ni ok. Dah la lelaki makin pupus, yang tinggal ni ramai pulak yang gay. Adussss

But for me, what really makes a man sexy is when they cried.

Haha… err does this makes me a psycho? Tak kan lah kan. Well that’s why my friend I have been helplessly fell in love again and again with Korean actor for they cried shamelessly ok. I know it’s just an act but who cares right. Seeing men cries makes me have goose bumps all over ok. Oh my God I just can believe I’m telling you all this thing. Shhh jangan gelakkan I tau.

Oh I think a man in pain is sexy too.

Confirm psycho ke? Tak ok! But seriously, men are sexy at their weakest point, not the other way around. Stakat nak tunjuk muscular body, siap ada six pack tu, hmmm tak seksi wokeh.

Being romantic is sexy too. But why is it when there’s some guy nak beromantik-romantik dengan I, rasa macam gelilah pulak. Kenapa ek? Bila tengok dalam tv macam alahai romantiknya mamat ni. Best ni kalo ada boipren romantic macam ni. Ok I admit I tak pernah la ada boipren but that doesn’t mean langsung tak de orang nak kat I kan. Ada la jugak peminat sket-sket masa muda-muda dulu. Bila diorang ni lelebih rasa macam geli la plak. Giloss ke apa I ni.

Man who treated kid with love pun sexy to me.

Especially those yang tidak segan silu untuk menunjukkan kasih-sayang diorang pada kanak-kanak tu. Not the show-off kind of guy. Yang tu nyampah la plak.

Being sexy is very subjective. Hard for me to choose a criteria that is deem sexy for a man coz everyone differ. Maybe when a guy cries, he looks sexy but when another guy plak rasa macam…. ek eleh… lemahnya mamat ni. Tu pun nak nangis-nangis. Well being a complicated me does not help at all.

So what makes a man sexy to you?

I wish I can too

Last week I stumbled upon a blog on cupcakes. Oh I just love her gorgeous cuppies. Been wondering where did she learn doing all that yummilicious looking cuppies. Well she did mention on learning thru the net but I supposed she's very arty too for I don't think I can make cuppies like her even if I spend 24/7 surfing the net. Veeeeryyyy cute ok.

I think she's very talented. And detailed too. Just look at all her cuppies. I wonder how she did all the paintings. And her choice of colour is fantastic.

If only I can make cuppies like that..... Unfortunately I had stiff finger. There's not even a streak or arty thingy that I can do. Sighhhh.

How am I supposed to feel about this

There’s this friend. A good friend. It’s a fact that this friend is a bright person. A straights A’s kind of person. Very clever indeed but always claiming that he/she is the other way around. ALWAYS ok. Up till I felt like knocking some senses on this friend’s head. And he/she like to compare with me. Err helloo... why me?

I’m just lucky to be what I am today. I’m not a bright student, far away from being clever. I’m not a straight A’s student (well except for my UPSR which was nothing ok). I’m just lucky enough to graduate with a degree. My result was always barely enough for me to pass. Cukup makan. Ok I admit it was because neither had I given any attention in class nor I did any revision until the very last minutes so serve it well for me right.

And this friend, not only he/she scored straight A’s during secondary level, he/she graduated with 1st class honours ok. Oh if that’s not enough, he/she even got the Anugerah Diraja for being the best student in his/her university. And why still comparing with me who graduated only with.... err...hmmmm... 2nd class lower? See... I’ve never ashamed of admitting myself. Since ages ago.... I’ve never ashamed of admitting my result even when everyone else keeps saying oklah, bolehlah, adalah. Including this friend.

I got this job on my 3rd attempt ok. And at the age of 29 while majority of my batch mates are at the age of 24-25. And to get this job, I think I studied more than I did when I was a student. But this friend secured the job at the age of 22, before he/she even graduated. Now at the age of 25, this friend is better off than me. So who’s better than whom?

Did he /she know that every time he/she said that I’m better than him/her, instead of being flattered, I felt insulted? Hurt. For I felt that if he/she who’s so brilliant can say that what he/she got is not good enough, how am I supposed to feel with what I got? Should I feel that I’m such a dumb-stupid-idiot?

Stop comparing. If I want to compare thing, I think I have 1001 flaws that I can compare with just everyone else. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally I am not like everyone else. I felt that everyone else is better off than I am. But I just accept what I am for it’s the result of my own bad, good or God-given.

I just don’t understand this comparing habit. I always have friend who are better off than me and yet still like to compare with me. Envy with me for no apparent reason. I have nothing that I can be proud of. Well maybe one thing that I can be proud of myself is that I’m good at camouflaging. Because people never see the real me. The real weak-sensitive-shy-always nervous me.

People see me as;

The confident Eny.

The tough Eny

The strong Eny.

The clever Eny.

But I am not.

Truth is I’m a nervous freak.

Truth is I’m super-duper sensitive.

Truth is I’m as weak as the weakest person.

Truth is I’m clueless in so many thing.

But I refuse to let people see the weak me. I try so hard not to let people see the weak me. I believe that I have to help myself; showing my weakness so people will sympathize and offered help is so not my way. Well sometimes I do feel like doing it but even then I think no one would cares. It’s still up to me to figure everything on my own.

Ok what I’m trying to say is; please stop comparing with me. I’m no one. I’m just one lucky person who’s been blessed with God loves that I’ve became what I am today. Be thankful with what we had for there’s other who’s far worse than us. Ok!

P/S : On a lighter note, am I really bijak without me knowing it? Hmmmm perasan!

Tuition anyone?

During lunch break, while munching our food and discussing just about everything, suddenly Kak Mah, one of the clerk here said,

Cik Eny tak nak ke buat tuition?

Tuisyen? Ish segan la nak buat tuition. *well I’m not bright enough to teach others*

Buat la tuisyen Cik Eny. Kak Mah nak cari tuition add-math sebab anak Kak Mah tu lemah add-math.

Hah add-math? Alamak saya tak amik add-math la dulu Kak Mah. yada…yada…yada…

Kalau sekolah rendah boleh tak? Ajar subjek teras je. Tahun depan anak Kak Mah amik UPSR.

Errr….emmm insya Allah. Tengok la dulu camana ye. Nak suh ajar subjek apa tu?

Subjek teras je, BM,BI and math. Ala seminggu sekali pun ok lah. Nanti Kak Mah carilah 2-3 orang lagi. Kalau boleh start la bulan 12 ni.

Nak kena cari bukulah pulak. Tengoklah dulu camana ek.


To be honest, I’m not that bright plus I don’t think I have what it takes to be a good teacher, let alone a private tutor.

But on second thought, it’s a good experience. Not only can I help them to understand more on the subject *if only I could la*, it’ll help me to polish back things that are on the verge of extinction from my memory. And I don’t really have things to do on weekend besides cleaning the house so why not right.

But this is not something that I can jump and do. Before I teach them I have to revise and study back stuff that I’ve left nearly 20 years ago. I did score straight A’s for my UPSR but I’m not a bookworm. I never studies, just doing some light revision right till I graduate with my degrees. So now I have to become a student back. A student who studies diligently… wooohoooo

Got to look for books, spares time to revise them, plan on tuition schedules. Hmmm sounds like I’ll be busier now. No more hanging around doing nothing after this….

Have to seriously think about this. Should I or should I not? Hmmmm….

Boss oh boss

My big boss that I mentioned here has been promoted to a higher post; a deputy to KSU, so he’s now the 4th person in the ministry. Good for him but not so good to us. Though he’s not in favour of upper management *before* but he’s such a good boss to us. He was constantly attacked by you-know-who but he never retaliated back nor did he pass the heat to us. He’s cool and funny; a meeting chaired by him will be full of laughter. Personally he’s a funny and fatherly person. Not I’m-the-boss-I-give-orders-and-you-have-to-follow kind of boss at all. For someone who has sensitive heart like me, to have a boss that never raised his voice does matter so much ok. But of course when he has a say in something, I’ll make sure it is quickly done.

There’s a few name that has been on the list of potential successor but I guess there’s one particular person that will be the next SUB for he’s the most senior in line. All of us have been discussing about this all the time. We would rather being transferred to other dept instead of working with person for he definitely has issue. He has issue on anything and everything. Those who know this person would agree with me; right Didi?

What ever it is, that’s the cycle of life. You can never ask to have everything according to what we like. Instead we have to learn and cope with life constant changes. Daily life challenges are the thing that adds spices to our life. The bitter, sad, angry feeling that we might encounter or already passed are something that we would remember the most and sometimes is the best jokes that we kept passing to others. And this life experience is something that makes us what we are today.

So let just hope whoever sit at that chair later on, I can still be the same me now *I doubt that but hey we would never know our future right*. It’s the process of learning and adapting that is never end.

Alamak terside track plak. Ok actually I wanted to updates on my big boss thanksgiving feast yesterday. Unfortunately there won’t be any photos coz I forgot to bring my camera.

Mr. Boss said God has given him so much this year; his eldest son secured a job at DCA, he’s going to perform his haj pilgrimage next week plus the recent promotion. So he wanted to share all this with us plus it’s the opportunity for him to ask for forgiveness before embarking on the journey for the pilgrimage.

I pray that you’re in the care of God all the time. Semoga memperoleh haji mabrur ok boss! Errr kalo nak suh boss doakan bagi cepat kawin boleh ke? Hehehe….. Lagipun boss kan suka je gossip-gossip kan saya ni….


P/S : Please be patient waiting for AKOK updates ok. Haven’t got time to choose and upload photos yet. Nanti tak de photos cam tak best plak kan.

Goodbye Datuk KSU......

Yesterday was my KSU last day of service. For those who do not know, KSU is like a CEO in a firm. She’s been with government service for 36 incredible years. I didn’t attend her clock-out event but those who attend told me that she cried during her speech. A bit surprised to hear that for she’s known as iron lady. But I guess saying goodbye is always hard especially to something that we put our heart and soul into.

As the time for her retirement became nearer, she’s been super sensitive towards anything and everything. Plus all the drama involving replacement of a few high posts in this ministry and also of her successor. Drama…drama…drama…. till the very last day ok. She actually didn’t turn up for work on the last day that the new KSU had to send a few staff from her office to console and persuade her to come for the clock-out event. Mr. Ministry himself will come so what he’ll be thinking about the drama right.

Don’t know what she’ll be doing after this but all the best to her. She spend the entire 36 years on her career, it’s about time for her to focus on herself and the family.

My journey is still long. Let just hope my end would not be like that.

This is life..... full of joy and sorrow

Satu hujung minggu yang biasa.

2 berita.

Gembira vs Sedih

Permulaan vs Pengakhiran

Kelahiran vs Kematian

My batchmate PTD yang juga roommate masa di INTENGAH, Suhana Azlin @ Lin telah selamat melahirkan seorang bayi perempuan yang sangat comel. Tahniah diucapkan. Semoga dengan kelahiran ini akan memabawa seribu cahaya dalam kehidupan yang mendatang.

My batchmate PTD yang juga teman seDPA, Adelina Christine Awent John Abdullah @ Adel telah kehilangan anak lelaki yang sangat comel; Abraham Noah 4 bulan akibat kecuaian pengasuh di nursery. Takziah diucapkan. Semoga dengan kehilanagan ini akan lebih mengajar erti kesabaran dan ketabah dalam menghadapi dugaan hidup yang mendatang. Sabar ye Adel. Setiap sesuatu yang berlaku ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Sentiasalah berdoa pada Allah moga diberikan kekuatan dalam menghadapi kesedihan ini.

Berikut adalah emel yang diterima dari Nadeeya Iqbal, my batchmate PTD yang juga teman seministry dengan Adel. Sangat menyentuh hati.


Dear Baby Noah,

I hadn’t the opportunity to get to know u, to touch u,
to cuddle u, to even bought u ur first toy...

U've been here, seen the world, saw the faces of the ones who loved u dearly,
who'd give up d world to have u back in her arms and still u leave....

Baby Noah, u're a strong boy, a fighter, a winner just like ur mom...

U leave us too soon, unwillingly we've to say goodbye to u...
but u'll always be remembered my dear, by ur loved ones n all of us,
u'll always stay close to our hearts forever, our prayer will be with u.

Be strong dear baby, Mummy n Daddy will always pray 4 u.....


Tribute to Baby Abrahaem Noah bin Najib

I'm soooo sorry....

Before I went on with AKOK updates, let me share about things that happened to me on Sunday night. Due to some condition at AKOK that I’ll explain later, I head straight to bathroom once I’m home. Never have I felt so relieve to see a bathroom before. Once I’ve freshened up and perform the prayer, I call home for an updates since the phone was dead the whole weekend.

My brother, Mamat who’s on semester break was supposed to arrive that night from Kedah. I’ve arranged with Bang Long to pick him up and send him to my place. At 9 plus, after confirming with Bang Long about the arrangement, I went to sleep but not before adjusting the ringing volume of my phone.

I was sleeping when I heard someone entered the house. I woke up and saw it was Mamat. Seeing me waking up he said;

Bang Long dah mengamuk-ngamuk dah tadi. Banyak kali dia call. Dah la esok dia keje pagi.

I immediately checked my phone and saw 19 missed calls; from Bang Long, Eman and Abah. It was 10.46pm and the missed call start from 10pm. So they’ve been waiting for nearly 1 hour. I was too sleepy to think too much about what actually happened but a bit startled coz I’m a light sleeper that would immediately wakes up to any sound.

So last night while having dinner I asked Mamat about what really happen then. It turn out that they’ve been calling, shouting and even throws their shoes at the door but to no avail. My room was very far from the front door so that’s why I didn’t hear any sound. And as I expected, it was my phone that caused all this. Same as what happened here, it happened again. The phone just refused to ring when there’s an incoming calls.

On Thursday I did leave spare keys inside my car for them to use for I thought Bang Long would use the car to pick up Mamat but he didn’t. So as last resort, Eman, who was already on curfew at his hostel in Uniten had to come and open the car downstairs for he holds the car spare key.

I felt so guilty towards Bang Long coz he has to travel back to his place that is quite far from mine; on bike and he’s shift started as early as 6.30am the next morning. I am so sorry Bang Long. Promise this won’t happen again.

Penat lah.....

Did anyone saw me on Nasi Lemak Kopi O? Nope? Ish wat penat je I posed kemain depan cameraman tu tau. Yesterday’s live event kicked –off with aerobic session. I’m on the front row; dekat dengan hos, Aziz Desa and Mek so the cameraman keep on coming to me and kita pun semangat la beraerobic depan camera. Nak masuk tv you…. Sekali adik I cakap dia terlupa nak tengok dari mula. Tengok masa sesi bergotong-royong with Shiledtox. Hampeh tul.

Penat la. Banyak pulak tu foto nak upload. Macam-macam cerita weh. Nanti la I update cerita pasal AKOK ni ok. Overall perasaan bercampur-baur. Nak tau kenapa? Tungguuuu......

AKOK

I’m off for AKOK at Perak from today till Sunday. AKOK or Apa Khabar Orang Kampung is a joint venture program between my ministry and TV9. And there’s a slot for this program on Nasi Lemak Kopi O, the morning talk show on TV9.

The venue is Kampung Matang Acheh, Pantai Remis Perak with the theme; Kenduri Kahwin di Musim Cuti Sekolah *a wedding feast during school holidays*. As participant, there’s lot of activities, mainly preparation for the feast, some demo on making Tepak Sirih, Bunga Manggar, Hiasan Hantaran Kahwin and friendly match between Mr. Minister team and JKKKP. And yes Mr. Minister will join this event.

For lodging, everyone including Mr. Minister himself will stay with the locals; home stay style la ni. There would also be a mini concert, contributions of bikes and PCs, planting trees plus lots and lots more of activities. Update will follow later ok.

Do watch Nasi Lemak Kopi O on TV9 from 8-10am this Saturday and Sunday ok. Who knows you might catch me on national tv ke.

Rules....rules....rules.....

What’s with rules? Some will say rules are meant to be followed whilst some will say rules are meant to be broken. So which ones are you? I can say I’m more into the first categorise but with some exception. I’ve been labelled rigid, decent, skema and lurus bendul, right from secondary school time from every one; teachers, friends, colleagues and relatives.

During my 6 month stint on a course, there’s all kind of rules, from the good ones to a downright rubbish ones. But I guess I’ve followed everything diligently. There’s some occasion that I bent a little but not too far. Peoples are doing their job and it’s their job to act the act so just follow la kan. At first there might be some grumbles but its end there. Nothing more nothing less. But I’ve seen some who goes all the way from cursing to plainly ignore the rules.

I guess some seek thrills on breaking the rules; even a plain simple ones. Like wearing batik every Thursday or wearing corporate scarf during monthly assembly. These two rules for me are very plain and simple. If you don’t have enough money for the expensive up-to-date batik, then opt for the cheap or even the fake batik. As for the scarf, we even supplied the scarf; you don’t have to pay a single cent for it. So why is it so difficult to wear them then?

If I can have my way dealing with this I think I might die young for peoples will hates me and you can never know the extend people will react when they angry. But then again, it’s not my fault for you are the ones breaking the rules.

In my previous career with Guardian. I’ve faced with this kind of situation too but it seems that the reactions of those in private sector are different from those in public sector. When I joined Guardian, the executive staff can wear anything *in terms of working attire of course* plus a jacket. This jacket is actually a dark blue blazer with orange lining. The non-executive staffs wear the orange blouse with dark blue pants. Later on the management decided that all staff; executive and non-executive must wear the orange blouse with blue pants with a slight different in design to separate between those two. It caused uproar from all executive staff for its kind of downgrading us. We criticize the design; there’s a bow behind that looks like maternity blouse and the orange colour is too bright.

But when the uniform came, say what ever you want but you just have to wear it. The cutting was weird; bigger at some part and tight at some. I have to fork my own money to alter it before it became wearable. And for 2 year, that ugly orange blouse became my baju raya too for I had to work on raya. Apparently wearing uniform is actually a good thing for I don’t have to think on what to wear to work.

So when I entered public sector, imagine my shocked seeing the staff, refused to wear the uniform after all the privileged they got; special tailored uniform of good quality materials and they even get 2 pair of shoes to complete it. And now with this batik and corporate scarf issues.

I guess public sector have issues on controlling it staff despite being the biggest employer. And due to that, those in private sectors has been criticising the public sector staff as being all sort of thing. Sadly, I have to agree with them. The management of human resource in public sectors are lousy enough that it caused problems in every corner.

I can talk about this forever; the time management, the meal break, the bureaucracies, the list goes on and on and on. Let just stop here. Oh before that, a point to ponder: You are here because I kidnap you on the street and forced you to work here or you are here because of your own choice? If you choose to be here; then the rules are meant to be followed. If it pissed you off to follow the rules, then quit and go where you can have everything your way. Ok!

Raya 08 Part 4 (the later part)

On the 1st and 2nd day of raya, I didn’t go anywhere. Just stay at home and entertain the guest plus washing endless dishes. Since there’s nothing much to do and I’m in no mood to watch TV so I decided to make some pillow using the kekabu that has been on top of the wardrobe for some time. I’m not good in sewing but I guess my pillow does look good. I used old pillowcase as the body and stuffed it with a lot of kekabu. Managed to make 3 pillows on the 1st day. On 2nd day, progress has been slow for I had to sew plain clothes from scratch coz there’s no more old pillowcase to be used. I just can’t believe that I’m sewing pillow on raya but I’m like that. When I feel like doing something, I would just do it; no matter at what time.

Mel and Zack came on the 2nd day of raya with hubby and baby in tummy. Zack is having her 2nd child while Mel her 1st. This 2 girls is my ex-schoolmate when I was in form 4&5. Noor Kamariah@Mel is an English teacher now while Siti Zariah@Zack works as civilian staff at an army camp in Johor.

Actually I plan to visit them on the 3rd day but I was busy preparing stuff to bring back home since we’re going to Putrajaya that very night. Yup my plan to celebrate raya here in KL has been agreed by the big boss. The journey started after Maghrib in 2 cars; Abah and mine. The guys in my car piloted by Eman while the girls including me in Abah’s which is better and bigger.

On Saturday the 4th of raya, we went to few houses; Nek Chik & Nek Long at Kg Melayu Subang, Aunty An at Kayangan Height & Mamatam at Tmn Permata. Aunty An , an architect and married to a British man just moved into her new house about a year ago. It’s a nice house with a nice landscape but I kind of lazy to snap photos. It’s a lovely house but it’s too artistic that neither I, Abah nor Mak would want our new house to be built that way. But the landscape is something that we look forward to. The uncle can’t really speak Malay and my family; saved for a few of us can’t really speak English. The uncle is actually a very friendly guy but the language barrier did hamper the communications. Since Tok Ngah is no longer with us, Nek Ngah stays at Aunty An’s for raya so we didn’t go to their house in Keramat. My own Nenek stays with Mamatam at Taman Permata.

On Sunday we went to Mak Long Nor’s house at Bdr Baru Salak Tinggi. Later in the evening everyone headed back to Kuantan leaving me all alone. But they’ll come back again on the weekend for Natasya’s engagement.

Well that’s all for my raya stories this year. Sorry for the very late updates for I have been very busy with all sort of meetings.

Raya 08 Part 3 (the big day)

Then came the big day. Wake up very early and went straight to the kitchen. There’s ketupat and lemang that needs to be cut, the rendang and kuah kacang need to be heated and transfer into the bowl, drinks need to be made and endless stuff to do. As usual ladies will be busy preparing stuff for breakfast and other things while guys will get busy preparing for the prayer. There’s only one bathroom so the queue would take some time.

When the guys were gone to the mosque, the ladies would take turns for shower and get ready. My baju raya was not ready yet so just wear the ones that I haven’t wear yet. This raya, it was Mak who bought my baju raya. For the first time, Mak, Siti, Akak and me will have a same theme for baju raya. It’s purple thus adding on to my purple collection for this year alone.

When the guys came home, everyone was getting ready for the bersalam session. Since Bang Long didn’t join us this time so I’m the eldest and would be the 1st in line. When I was much younger, I didn’t like this bersalam thingy. I would wait till much later and there’s nobody around then only I would bersalam with Mak and it would be a very quick one. As time changed, I’ve changed too. I would look forward into this bersalam session. Holding Mak and Abah hand, looking into their eyes and asking for forgiveness for my sins towards them would really make me feel genuinely remorseful and regretting whatever things that I did towards them. Normally I would become sebak while uttering those words and my tears would flow naturally. A kiss on the cheek would wrap-up the event.

My tears have been teased before but this year there’s something much bigger than that. Everyone after me went through the bersalam session and everything went smoothly until Akak turns. Actually right after I finished my turns, I saw Akak cries. Maybe seeing all this stuff touched her fragile heart. I would cries seeing other people cries too. But then when she went to Abah for her turns, her cries became uncontrollable. She cried and sobbed besides Abah. I cried seeing her but in between that I would laugh and teased her too; so does everyone else. It went on for so long that Ayum have to cut off Akak turn. We waited quite a long time for Akak to subdued but apparently she didn’t.

Mak : Ha tu lah Akak… bila Mak ngan Abah cakap Akak suka bentak-bentak. Bila suruh apa-apa mesti nak hentak-hentak kaki. Kan dah susah nak mintak maaf.

Mak tries to console Akak for I know Mak was touched too; I could see it from her face. Akak; despite being a bit rebellious but she’s very close with Mak. In fact Akak still sleep with Mak even though she’s 14 and she had special bedding stuff matches with Mak’s bed. Abah too tried to console Akak.

Abah : Cepat lah Akak..... Akak ... ooo Akak.... Cepat lah Akak. Abah dah lapar ni.

We all too keep pushing Akak to go on with the bersalam thingy but her cries became unstoppable thus we continue with our breakfast. Up till now Akak didn’t ask for forgiveness from Mak and Abah. But I know she felt remorseful towards all her action thus she can’t utter the words. I felt for her too for I’ve been there before. For the time being, this incident has become the issue to tease Akak.

Getting ready untuk ke masjid

Like father like son; Ayum berserban di pagi raya macam Abah

A smarter looking Dik Man

Mak & Abah and yours truly sedang bersalam memohon maaf and passing the duit raya

Followed by everyone else....

Except for Akak yang tak henti-henti menangis

All of us except Bang Long yang tak balik raya and Hayat's family yang tak sampai lagi

Nenek and Atok bersama cucu-cucunya

Atok with cucu-cucunya

Meera with her Mama and Papa

Hayat' family

Epoi's family (mind you he's my younger bro ok)

A snapshot of everyone else

Raya 08 Part 2 (the pre-raya part)

The next day, right after sahur, I started my normal duty; cleaning the house. It went on till evening. Got a call from Kak Sobir; inviting me to her place for she’s going home to Kedah on Monday. Finishes up the clutters, then went to Kak Sobir’s place at Indera Mahkota tagged along with Akak and Meera. She’s going to perform her haj soon so was asking me if I got any request for doa; specifically on you-know-what. There’s no one so no name I can give to her. Maybe I should write all my daily doa for her to recite there. The visit was cut short coz Meera’s nature call (the big ones) and we didn’t bring extra diaper. Then the normal stuff; preparing meals for berbuka, went for tarawih and some other stuff.

On Monday I went to service my car with Eman. Had to wait for few hours despite having secured an appointment before and to make things worse; the bills are ridiculous for some normal service. Ok it’s not normal but major service but then again paying nearly RM400 is still ridiculous compared to what other people paid for their car. My sister-in-law who owned a Myvi told me that the most she paid for servicing her car was RM200. And you know what; I have to pay nearly RM80 for 2 bottles of X1R oils that I don’t think made any changes towards the performance of the car. In facts the car became worsened after it (according to the guys la of course coz for sure I’m no expert in that area). Whatever it is, owns a car; Savvy to be specific coursed a burn in my wallet.

On the way back, went to wet market to buy some ketupat’s leaves. I’ve longed to eat pajeri’s so bought pineapples for that. Later on I helped Jannah to re-arrange the hall area. Thalha help a bit only after some nagging involved while all the other boys are nowhere to be seen. The funny thing was we don’t have plans so I think it only finalizes after the tenth time. The sofas and tables is no feather so it took all the energy and I’m really exhausted. When I’m tired, I became stressful. When I became stressful, my anger can be at the dangerous level. When that happens; I nagged all the times. I’m angry at the boys for not helping the girls with the chores. Stories on that will follow later.

On Tuesday we’re more focused on cooking delicacies for raya. I’m very helpful at kitchen area this time; peeling and cutting stuff for rendang and what not; even help Abah cuts the meat. Imagine Abah cuts nearly 13kg of meats; standing. By the time I offered help, there was like 3-4kg left. But still Abah had to supervise me coz I can’t differentiate the veins or lines; wrongly cut meat will make it hard and difficult to chew right.

Because of my super duper diligence on that day, I went on preparing roasted meat for berbuka. Not an easy task having to use mortar & pestle (lesung daa) to crushed and ground all herbs to marinate the meats. One thing for sure; living on my own have sparks the interest on cooking in me. That night everyone was busy preparing the last minutes delicacies; Siti with her Honey Cornflakes and Zakiah, my sister-in-law with her Kuih Simpul (knotted popiah skin stuffed with serunding). I try my hand on both but I guess I’m just not into it yet. Stiff finger I think. Hehehe… but surprisingly Dik Man helped Zakiah knotting the popiah skin. Well done Dik Man. Actually Dik Man wouldn’t mind helping us the ladies just that sometimes he’s more focus on pc games thus ignoring everything around him. Before sleep, I transfer all cookies and chips into the jar.

Raya 08 Part 1 (the going home part)

Ok I know all the coming entry would be so outdated but due to my workload I just can’t write it as soon as I want. Just bear reading these old stories ok.

Let start with journey home for raya (gosh this is really an old stories). Since Eman stick with his decision to drive home at 3am, so send the car to him right after tarawih. Left Apis with the car full with stuff for raya, and headed back to Putrajaya with Hanim.

Had a very long pillow talk that we didn’t manage to wake up in time to perform the qiamullail. As for the sahur, I had Big Apple doughnut while Hanim had instant noodles. Then settle some chores and packing few stuff while Hanim catching up with her sleep. Can’t disturbed her coz she’ s the one who will drive so let her take as much rest as she want.

The journey kicked-off only at noon. Told Hanim about the famous popiah and she decided to have a try. So instead of taking the highway that is near my house, we took the one heading to town first. Perform the jama’ prayer at Sultan Ahmad mosque then head straight to the bazaar located just nearby. The foods here are way better than the one sold at Putrajaya’s bazaar. But am not in the mood to take photo’s coz the weather was so hot. I bought RM15 worth of popiah. Believe me; it’s not enough ok. The popiah is so good even when it’s cold.

Us

The view along the way

Eat a lot of popiah for berbuka then went for the tarawih prayer with Mak, Abah, Eman and Ayum. At the mosque that we went, there would be a tazkirah session for half an hour in between the prayer. Normally the prayer that I had in Putrajaya would end at 9.30pm while in Kuantan it ends at 10.30pm.

Budak Kelantan

As I expected, the movie was so-so but I had hilarious moment with the dialogue; they used thick kelantanese accent. Although I was surrounded with kelantanese friend since my uni time, few kelantanese closed friends; even my immediate boss is a kelantanese but never was I exposed to that language as I was last night. The language was actually sounded a bit rude to me but the rudeness is somewhat funny too. But of course if ever someone said; “nate puak ni” to me, I would be offended for I would take it as u called me an animal and I’m no animal.

However, there’s 2 scenes that went overboard to me; 1st one when the bad guy, Jaha raped that stupid girl who ran out from home and 2nd one when Jaha after taking some pill kuda, lie down, touching his crotch and said, “kalo ado tino sedak ni” which I translated as “it’s good to have s*x now”. You all can beg to differ but I hate to see muslim artist doing all that unnecessary act. I know some will said they are just being professional and giving the utmost commitment to liven the character. However, put that professionalism and whatever thing aside; the thing they did is just wrong. Berdosa tau tak!

Just like when I watched Ayat-ayat Cinta recently. The hero was portraying virtuous muslim. We can see him recited the quran and doing all the ibadah. However, when he married his best friend, Maria, he kissed her on the mouth during a scene. I just can’t accept that for it shows like you’re playing with the religion. I just don’t get it; it just like when you said liquor is haram and you drank it right after that.

Ok better stop at that as I know some of you will start to think that I’m just weird. Weird or not, a sin is always a sin right. Ok back to Budak Kelantan story.

There’s one character; a fat and dark guy. They call him Bak Bong. I just can’t understand why En. Afnan and En. Nasrol laugh so hard. I see Bak Bong as Bak Bong. Only kelantanese can understand this it seems.

And I feel that Buchek, the hero was downright stupid. How can he; being such a good man can just let his friend, Jaha do all the bad thing. He can at least say something; or if he can’t he should just left him. And his stupidest act ever was when he decided to pass his girlfriend to Jaha. That guy took drug, sleeping around with all kind of ladies and he even confessed that he sold some ladies that I’m sure Buchek know what Jaha mean. So no matter how pure his intention was, he just plain stupid. Full stop.

Yeah people might saw me laughing like I don’t cares about others but deep in my heart, that’s how I felt. I think I’m also turning into one of those who said something is downright wrong but you still do it. Hehehe….

So right now, I’ve been starting my dialogue with “tak Americalah…”

Tak Americalah makan nasik bungkus

Tak Americalah kalo ajak guna wakil *only En. Nasrol understand what this mean*

Tak Americalah bla bla bla…..

How much American I can be huh?

After some time.....

En. Afnan and En. Nasrol invited me for a movie tonight. The choice; Budak Kelantan. Hmm not sure how the movie would turn out but I’m anticipating the language if not the story. Like what En. Nasrol said;

Tak americalah saing ngan set-set sejid

Hahaha… let just hope this two guys won’t end up using thick kelantanese accent or vice versa. Me in kelantanese accent? Gagagaga