My take on life as thirties

I haven't written anything here again for more than a year.
It is much easier to write and share something via FB and IG it seems.
Anyway, yesterday, it struck on me that within few weeks, I'll be 40.
Officially in April but 2018 is the year 78 babies will become 40.
Oh my... 40!!!!
I'm so ancient.
I can't believe that I'm that old.
So saddd.....

I started writing here at the age of 30.
Hence the Eny@30 name.
So, I might need to write something about my life as thirties.
To sum up everything about me for the past 10 years.

Of career development.
Personal growth.
Life adventure.
Those around me.
My lost, my gain, my newfound stuff.
So that somewhere in future, I can look back here and reminisces everything about the younger me. 
Maybe when I'm entering my 50.
Gulp.

I'll write according to a topic soon.

Eny@30.
The journey of self discovery.
I wonder what will be for the next decade as Eny@40.

Annyeonghaseyo

Another year has passed since my last entry.
I wanted to write more, really but my laziness get the worst out of me so yeah back to one entry a year.
It's only been one year but so many things happened ever since.
Let see what happened.....

I changed work place again.
What? Again? Yeah. Unbelievable right.
Looks like I've been changing work place yearly since 2014.
It took me 7 years to leave the first one but after that moving to a new place is not a big thing anymore.
I'm back to Putrajaya so horeyyy no more commuting long distance.
But being in my current ministry is something that I never thought of.
Really not into this field but saya yang menurut perintah so here I am learning a lot of new stuff.
Although sometimes I feel so bored, but after some pep-talk with myself, I should be grateful to Allah for putting me where I am now.
I no longer have endless meetings, no more staying up late at office, just endless paperwork since I'm in some policy division.
So be grateful Eny and enjoy whatever you're facing now.
It could be worse elsewhere.

My already big family got bigger and bigger.
Siti, my younger sister tied the knot, Jannah another younger sister got engaged, and a niece and 2 nephews were born within 2 months time.
So in total my big family now consist of Mom and Dad, 14 siblings, 8 in laws, 6 nieces and 6 nephews plus 2 bun in the oven.
Kinda popular among the kids for I've been busy entertaining all of them most of the time.
My favorite past time I guess.
Been entertaining kids since I'm a kid myself.
Maybe that's why I'm really good at it.
I hope these kids will continue to love me even when I'm old and becoming somewhat a nuisance to those around me.

I've been travelling quite a lot this year.
To Brunei in February.
To Japan in April. My second trip there with friends from my previous work place and I enjoyed it better than the first one.
Counting days for my trip to Korea (hence the greetings in Korean). Also my second trip there but this time for leisure.
Been busy with planning for itineraries and whatnot.
I pray that everything will run smoothly, I'm healthy and fit (currently not feeling good and it's kinda worries me if the runny nose and lethargic feeling continues) and to have fun with my travelling partner.
And guess what..... am going to Japan again in December. Can't seems to have enough of that country eh.
Should've write more about my trip, right.
Hopefully there's more trip in future. I should really start a travelling fund but me being me, I don't know when it'll happen.
Keep splurging into I also don't know what lah and in the end of the day, I have no saving whatsoever.

I'm still fat. Fatter ok. But I'm not going to elaborate on that much because it's totally my fault. Served me well for being a lazy bum.
Talking about laziness, I seriously don't know what happened to me lah.
Too lazy like nobody business.
Like lazy, lazy.
Sometimes I wish I can knock some senses back to myself and being the super rajin me with that OCDness.
I myself can't believe how lazy I become now.
Laziness plus procrastinating is totally the worst combo ever.

I no longer bake like I used to.
Except for some occasion like wedding and eid and kenduri.
And I only bake muffins that come from a ready mix bags.
Occasionally I would do the tiramisu. But that's all.
No more cheese cake or venturing into new recipe.
Why? I don't know.

And finally, I'm going to own a house soon. No more living in quarters although it's not a bad thing at all.
Rezeki Allah bagi.
So now I'm kinda busy with this loan thingy and soon with buying stuff for the house and whatnot.
After living debt free for few years, plus with whatever happen with the economies now, buying a property and committing myself for that much of loan, it's kinda worried me.
Will I be able to continue receiving this much of salaries in future?
Will whatever money I have then be good enough to live just the way I am now?  
With quite a big chunk of my salary will soon go for loan repayment, might need to adjust my spending habit a bit.
I'm spending too much, more than I should and it worries me.

Too many worries eh.
I'm old already hence the never ending worries.
Grey hair are sprouting and it worries me more.
Oiii... stop using the word already Eny.

Sounded like a depressing entry eh.
Oh well....
Let me end this with some of the recent photos.

Me with the kids. 5 out of 12

Just landed for my second trip to Japan

Somewhere in Ginza if I'm not mistaken

My kind of colour; purple and pink. With 4 layers and I'm still cold

Our stay in Tokyo. Nice place and within walking distance to Akihabara

Who would have thought eh. My last day at my previous work place

Ok that's about it.
See you guys errrr next year?
Let's hope I'm better than that.
I'll try ok.
Till then, tto bwa yo.

Should I say hello or what?

Hellooooo....

Anybody home?

Hahaha.....

Anyway, another year has passed. Exactly a year today. Maybe I should make this as a KPI. One entry per year. 

Different year and another different organization. True what people said, leaving the first will be very hard but after that not anymore. I am now in totally new environment than my previous two. Everything is new for me here. But I won't be here for long. Only for a year under contract basis. Sometimes I still wonder why did I accepted that offer. But I think I know why.

Despite having to spend long hours driving and so much more on fuel and toll, I think I am much calmer here. I have to admit that the last one was really stressful one for me. The environment, the work and the people. But only a few bunch because I do makes a whole lot of new friends that made it into the circle of trusted and very dear to my heart. And of course I learn a lot there.

And about this new workplace. Totally different and I didn't know anyone here when I first came. It was a big move of me, having to sacrifice my privileged office in Putrajaya. It is too far from home, the workstation is ermmmm how shall I say it, ugly. Hehehe.... Everything is lacking here. And because I didn't know anyone and not coming from the same university as the most top officers here, I feel like outcast at first. Especially since we have different motive or agenda. I feel so lacking in that main agenda part.

Whatever it was, I think I have blended well now. Still lacking in some part but I'm catching up. And I'm glad that my opinion do matters here. It's good to know that I can be of help in things that I'm good at. Kinda balancing the lacking of part. Sometimes I feel like I would want to stay longer here. But sometimes I wish the one year time will come fast. Especially when I'm tired of facing the traffic and paying of higher tools and fuel. Oh how I wish the move to new building in Putrajaya will materialize.

Ok enough on work matters. On personal matters, my big family is getting bigger and bigger with new nephew and new in-laws. My sister Hayat got married again last April and my brother Mamat also tied the knot 2 week ago. The newlywed lived with me for the time being. Eman is a father of 2 now. His second son was born barely a month ago. Next year there'll be more kids coming I guess. Dik Man and Akak already graduated with Akak now working in Penang. Couldn't believe that my baby sister is working now and so far from home. Everyone is growing up.... And that means I am growing old too. Tsk....

What else. Oh I'm still fat. And fatter it seems. Hahaha... Too bad I'm too lazy to do anything about it. I don't run that much and no more exercise after moving to this new office. Let see if there's any changes after this. Can't say much coz I don't believe in myself anymore. Hahaha... At least on that part of wanting to change the weight. Too lazy this old lady. Boohooo.....

The best part in the last one year was...... I went to Japan!!!!! Yup finally. Been wanting to go since I was in high school. Alhamdulillah finally for the opportunity. I even managed to stop by at at Hong Kong for a day. I will go again to Japan in future but not Hong Kong. Once is enough. I wish I have more money to travel. Maybe I should start living frugally so I can saved more money for that. Hey that is not a bad idea, right. Living frugally. Let see if I can manage.

I seriously have a lot to write here and I've been meaning to write more but I don't know why I didn't. But I am much more active in the other social media. Anyway, enough ramblings here. We shall see if there'll be more entry after this or I'll remain at that KPI of one entry per year. I'm leaving you guys with photo of me doing what I do best. Hahaha....

Hellooooo.....

Wow one year has passed since my last post. How time flies so fast.

A lot has changed. A whole lot.

As for me in person, I am totally in new environment now. 

Got my promotion in February and went to new ministry. Leaving behind the bestest ever organization with tonne of sweet memories. And lovely dear friends. It has been 9 month and yet I'm still missing the old place and the warmth feeling it gave me. Along that 7 years I was in that ministry, not all are sweet memories but I choose to remember only the sweet ones and forget the bitter one. Why contaminate our memories with stuff like that, right. 

Coming to a new place is never easy no matter how good you are at adapting to changes and new environment. The first five month was like living in hell. I was so stressed up I even have nightmares. I was sad, angry, afraid and all the feelings that won't make you a happy and positive person. Too much drama and conflicts. Misunderstanding, labels and stuff. Shake me up to the core. But when you are at the lowest point, and you think you will never make it one more day, you find strength and courage from doa', prayer and new found friends. Alhamdulillah I am blessed. Can never thank Allah for all that He has granted upon me. Thank you to all friends who have supported me. My mantra was.... This hardship will past. And you can do it Eny! In life, we can never run from being tested but Alhamdulillah things are much better now and true enough, the hardship has passed. At least for the time being. 

As for people around me, a whole lot have changed too. Marriage, babies, moving out and stuff. That friend who went to further her study in UK has come back. I am soooo happy despite we are no longer in the same ministry. But another dear friend took the baton and leave me for another year. I wish her well and can't wait to meet her again. Something is missing when your dear friend is so far away physically. Ahhh.... the melancholic me is still the same. Hihihi....

My older and younger brother, Bang Long and Thalha recently got married. So new sister in law and I presume more new babies is coming next year. Insha Allah. I on the other hand is still single and never mind it at all. It's others who makes me stress about my status. So please, don't stressed me by asking that same question ok. Truly appreciate that.

Physically I have gained a lot of weight. Well nothing new there. It's ok... never loose hope. Who know's my ideal weight can be achieved one day. I haven't got time to run like before. So many commitment that I have to pass a lot of registered run. But I'm trying for some workout now. With the same runner friends. They are becoming better but I have been staying static for so long. Hahaha....

Ok maybe I should write more here like before. Just so I won't be a boring person who lead the same thing day in day out. Let's make the life more colourful. Be more energetic and cheerful. Vibrant and positive. Insha Allah. 

Leaving you  guys with a photo of me with my darling nephew. Take care guys. 

Lost

Well hello there.... I miss you bloggie. I really do. But I just don't have that luxury of time anymore. Not that it was that luxurious before but I can still manage.

Nowadays everything went out of control. My bad. At managing my time.

I always have things to write and share here. And I haven't finish that story on my greatest trip yet. But I end up writing on my mind instead here. I don't know. Losing the mojo I guess. Due to all that stress build up.

Am I stressful? Haha I think so. But no worries. I still laugh as hard as before.

I missed my friend. She went far away. To further her study. I should do the same I guess. But I had so many to consider. But I hope I will one day. In the mean time I just gonna miss her.  

I'm bored. All the same routine. I love routine but lately I just feel bored. I keep trying new stuff but I'm still bored.

I still run. I still bake. Well sometimes. At times I really feel like baking something but I'm just too lazy. I guess same thing goes to writing here. Just too lazy to start. 

Am I lazy? I doubt that. I think I am the most diligent person among many that I know. Yeah try cleaning the whole toilet with toothbrush. If that is not diligent enough, I don't know what do. 

But I have to admit that slowly I have become a lazy person. My house is the proof of my laziness. So sad. You should see the amount of dust. What a shameful view. 

I'm alive when I have peoples around. When I'm alone, I become that bored and lazy person. I wonder why. That is so not me before. 

Where has all the enthusiasm gone to? It must be somewhere. But I lost it.

The once full of zest me is now the boring and lazy me. Sheeshh...

Works is stressful. But becoming a lazy person is much stressful. I hate you laziness. Go away. Leave me alone. 

When things get out of control, that's when the laziness in me step out. So I guess I should plan my time better. I did. Ok I will try harder. 

Maybe I need a new environment. I never stay this long before. Home. School. Work. Never this long. Gonna be 7 years in 1 month time. Phewww... I'm old. 

I don't know. What is wrong with me. I'm lost. I'm not anything nor everything. Totally lost it.

Have to start the journey again.

Journey of self-discovery.

Reason behind this blog. 

KOREA - Day 1

We were supposed to board 11.30pm flight but it was delayed. After another round of waiting at Golden Lounge (the perks of travelling Business Class), our flight finally took off at 2am. I was too dizzy from lack of sleep that nothing much can be done on flight. Didn't enjoy the food too. Headache and stomach cramp due to you know what la kan. Definitely not a good start. Haha...

Just landed....

Landed safely at Incheon International Airport around 8.30am local time (exactly one hour different from Malaysia). Drama...drama.... One of our friend was held for interrogation. His name was listed on most wanted list. Definitely not a good start for him. Haha... Anyway, for others it was a breeze procedure. No wonder Incheon Airport got rated as one of the fastest airport in custom processing. Very high tech. But don't expect a smiley faces ok. Everyone got  kind of grim-face. No offence ya Korean. You all need to smile more I think. Especially those on front liners. Definitely will add more to that already beautiful face. Hihi....

We were greeted by 4 officers from COTI (Mr. Park, Mr. Kang, Ms. Jeong and  Ms. Jina)  and after settling all luggage and whatnot, we departed to Best Westin Kukdo Hotel. Along the way beautiful scenery of Korea awaited us and Mr. Park who acted as our tourist guide keep explaining just about everthing that we saw. I was kind of dizzy but saving my sleep to see the beauty of Korea. 

During arrival, we were ushered to a hall where a task already waiting for us; Korean Culture Exposure Program. We were divided into 5 group (4 members each) and was given KRW 20,000 each to complete the task. I was in Group 2 together with Efah, Penghulu and Pak Lah (amazingly these were the same people who ride my car after the briefing in Putrajaya). Our mission was to:-

Hongik University 

• Visit university library and take picture with a student
• Find KT&G Sangsang Madang and take photo inside
• Take photo in Street Art Exhibition

Lunch (Grilled sotong)

• Eat and take photograph of Hong's Sotong restaurat near Hongik University

World Cup Park

• Go to Haneul Park (by Maeng Kkong Yi Electronic Vehicle) and take photograph with a citizen

I haven't brush my teeth nor wash my face yet and here we are on our first day in Korea having to meet the Korean. I hope I didn't stink. Haha.... I was kind of dizzy and having quite a serious stomach cramp. To make it worse, my winter jacket was in luggage bag. I was cladding only in tshirt and thin cotton jacket and the wheather was so freaking cold. I have every reason to be moody or whatever but this trip is too precious and everything feels like a dream. Still couldn't accept the fact that I really am in Korea. Haha..... Anyhow all 4 of us were moving from one place to another. It was quite a challenge since we were not really understood the subway thingy.

Buying subway ticket for the first time

Our first subway ride. Took a wrong train so had to go out and change to another one

Asking for direction

Asking again at info centre

Finally.....

All 4 of us at Hongik University

Where's the library?

Beautiful scenery inside

Mission 1 accomplished!

Asking for direction again. Everyone we asked will automatically pull out the handphone and looking for map. Internet connection are really fast there...

Still couldn't find and even asked an ajumma here. Hehe....

After many failed attempt of asking around and finding the building, finally these 2 beautiful girls escorted us right to the front of Sangsang Madang. Kamsahapnida....

KT&G Sangsang Madang

Mission 2 accomplished!

The Sangsangmadang is located right in the middle of the Hongik University district, better known as the Hongdae area. This is the city’s main student area and it’s a cauldron of vibrant energy and creativity. The eleven-story Sangsangmadang building houses a cinema, live performance hall, art gallery, and studio. On the first floor there is an art square, which displays and sells crafts and accessories handmade by designers. On the second floor is an art gallery displaying artwork by Korea’s contemporary artists, and work by Korea’s young artists is available for sale on the third floor, offering a glimpse into today’s young society in Korea. In the basement cinema, independent films from Korea and abroad are shown, and the underground live performance hall features various performances such as music, dance and theater.

Our first taxi ride. Actually the place we're looking for was just around the corner laaa.... Hihihi....

You might not see it in this photo but the man was really handsome ok and he's not the only one.... I'm in cloud 9. Haha...

Mission 3 partly accomplished! No grilled sotong for us...

Enjoying super hot kebab. My lips kind of numb due to the hotness and yet that Korean guy sitting next to me  eat it like nothing. Salute!

Surrounding area of Hongik University

Mission 4 accomplished!

See that Hollys Coffee? You can find it everywhere....

World Cup Stadium

Koreans walk and cycle here. Really nice place

Mission 5 partly accomplished. See that hill behind? Well that's Haneul Park and we were just too exhausted to climb it so just took photo in front of it. Haha...

Not sure what written there but this is the area of World Cup Park

Despite loosing our way, hungry, tired, freezing and whatnot, we managed to accomplish all mission. Ok maybe not in eating the grilled sotong since we found a kebab restaurant. Haha... Kebab in Korea tasted so much better than here in Malaysia. Maybe because the seller are from Middle East country, where kebab originated. Actually we were supposed to use the subway but after loosing our way while looking for Hongik University and keep moving down and forth while in that area, we opt for taxi ride to go to Haneul Park. It was quite expensive but we just don't bother much. Haha.... From Haneul Park, we went back to hotel also using a taxi and everyone fall asleep.

After everyone arrived, we had to do some presentation on our mission. I found out that Korean are tall, skinny and fashionable. Yeah that's my first line. Hahaha.... They are helpful, it's a clean city and the public transportation are really superb. You should see inside every taxi. They got all kind of gadget ok. Canggih la.... They walk fast and enjoyed exercising. You should see the park therre. Full of people walking and cycling. No wonder they are skinny.

After presentation we finally checked in, freshen a bit and went down for dinner. Enjoyed every food served and talking to COTI officers so didn't have time to took photos. It was such a long and tiring day but I'm all geared up for anything. It's once of a lifetime experience so just savour everything, right.

By the way, my roomate was Kak Aya, an auditor. Kind of missing our days together. Hai Kak Aya! It feels surreal. Like in a dream. Still couldn't believe that I really am in Korea. I sure was smiling in my sleep then. Haha....

Anyway, you can check out this blog too. Written by another participant. I guess he got more and better photos.

End of day 1.

The preparations

Some preparation before embarking on that journey of a lifetime.... Hehe....

Hope this might help

Alhamdulillah rezeki.... Changed all allowance I got into Korean won. Almost becoming a millionaire. Haha...

The flowers in few colour; red, yellow and purple. I  really love rubber leaves flowers. Got many at home...

Pewter for COTI

And this in a songket box for the lectures and officers

Hope nothing left....

Managed to finalize the luggage right on time. Not really know what to bring so I just bring whatever thing deemed necesssary. And you know me being me.... everything are necessary. Haha....

Ready for COTI. Bring it on Korea.....