Where is the love?

This is still about Lina’s wedding. But on a different tones. Something really pissed me off on that day. I’m sharing this because I hope we can learn something from it. But before that, a peek on the history of my mom’s family.

My late grandfather has 3 wives. My mom is the eldest of 8 from his 1st wife. The 2nd wife has no children while the 3rd wife has many but I don’t know the exact figure because we rarely meet. Of these 8 children, my mom and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents (my great grandparents) at KL while the other 6 were raised at Kedah by their own parents (my grandparents).

Eventually everyone came down to KL to start off their career and family. Only Pak Teh (the 5th) stayed on in Kedah. Pak Chik (the 4th) is here but his families were in Kedah too.

Mak and Mak Ngah bought a house very near to each other; facing together at the kitchen. Mak Lang (the 3rd) and Mama Tam (the 6th) followed suit. Mak Lang house is only around 200-300m away while Mama Tam’s is at a street behind Mak Lang’s. Mak Ndak (the 7th) and Mak Su (the 8th) also live and work here in KL.

However, due to my dad’s nature of work, we were away since 86 when we moved to Kuching, Sarawak and to Kuantan, Pahang since 91. Datuk passed away on 94 and Nenek moved to KL since 2002/2003.

They (those who live in KL) used to be very closed with each other. But as time goes by, there’s a distance among them. All sort of crisis and what not. Very near with each other but so far away in every other thing.

My parents are the one who travels all the way to KL for every kenduri’s, on hari raya and when they came here to meet us (Bang Long, Eman and me) they would visit the siblings too. Sometimes Mak Ngah and her family would visit us in Kuantan too.

So, back to the thing that pissed me off that day. On Lina’s wedding, there’s only our family and Pak Chik who came. Mak Lang and Mama Tam who live in the same area didn’t come. Same goes to the other 2 aunty. Pak Teh and family are spared for they are far away in Kedah. But for me, if my parents can travel all the away from Kuantan to KL, to Alor Star or to Lenggong for every kenduri or anything, why can’t they do the same?

This is your own family for God sake. Where has all the love gone? Even my own Nenek didn’t show up. But the other Nenek and Datuk were there. As I said earlier, Mak and Mak Ngah were raised by their grandparents so they are very closed with their aunties and uncles until now. For every kenduri, we would see the late Tok Ngah and Nek Ngah, Tok Lang and Nek Lang, Tok Chik and Nek Chik, Nek Uda, Nek Teh and Tok Busu with Nek Usu. And mind you, not only them but their children come too. There would be a whole bunch of cousins and second cousins. If they can come, why can’t this own siblings do the same?

In fact when all this Tok and Nenek host a kenduri or wedding, it would be the same us who come; and my mom’s siblings never turn up. They used to be there too but I don’t know what happen that kept them away. But I guess they are the one who distance away. When you stay away from your own family and relatives, they would eventually stay away from you too.

For me, we can never stay away or disown our family and relatives for these are the peoples who would be there when you in dire need, especially your own siblings. This serve as reminder to me and to every one else that no matter what, family come first. Life is too short to hate each other.

Bang Long asked be why I’m so emotional on this matter but I guess I deserve to feel disappointed because they are so close and yet doesn’t really care to show some face just to jaga hati at least. Sigh…

If only Datuk is still alive, I don’t think things would end this way. I hope things would turn out better in future. I miss those times when we were together, preparing for meals during Ramadhan and hari raya, teasing and joking with each other and burning the midnight oil doing nothing but talking. Everything changed when Datuk passed away. No one cares about each other anymore. There’s only fight and crisis and mostly on silly matter.

I wonder when will they realize that they are hurting each other with their act. One day, when Nenek passed on, would they still wanted to stay away? Who would they turn to if they need any help? I’m ok with all my cousins but I don’t know why the uncles and aunties have heart to act that way. They are on speaking term but they don’t really care to at least visit the house or to attend any kenduri. They kind of ignoring each other. I seriously can’t understand this.

I hope and pray that my family would be sparred of this thing. I hope and pray that no matter what, we would always be like we are now, despite all our cat-fight, we would always be the same silly us who teased each other mercilessly, who talked over silly matter over and over again and who challenge each other on the loudest fart or burp. Love your family when they are still alive coz when they gone, there would be no other 2nd chance.

Lina's Wedding

The whole family came down to KL on Friday for Lina’s wedding. Lina is my cousin, just a year older than me but matures in every way. This is actually her 2nd marriage, 1st one being 12 years ago and they went separate way 10 years later. Duh, she knocked me off 2-0. Hehehe…

How time flies so fast. I can still remember all the fuss around her 1st. She was too young, 20 at that time and was suspended from UiTM due to her crazy love-inflicted behaviour. Everyone was involved in that affairs, me included. It was really crazy back then, during Hari Raya while we were at kampung, the boys had to protect all doors, fearing she might ran away again. Me as the closest cousin had to bear being interrogated by every aunty; what’s her plan, what she said, yada yada yada. And yes despite the tight security, she ran off with the boy. Love is really crazy I guess.

One day I called Mak Ngah and she said she’s going to marry them both. She got tired fighting I guess. On my 19th birthday, Lina came to my college announcing that she’s already married. A surprise birthday gift huh.

There’s only akad nikah ceremony and it was held at Mak Lang’s house because Mak Ngah and Pak Ngah despite giving the blessing, were still against the wedding. She didn’t receive any hantaran at all because both were still studying and since both families were against the wedding, they didn’t want to sponsor anything. Lina was expelled from UiTM not long after that and Budi went on to pursue his study at Polytechnic.

Despite everything, they were blissfully married with 2 handsome sons and 1 pretty daughter. Their career also blossoming; Lina’s now with Petronas after leaving Schlumberger. But I guess something went wrong somewhere. We didn’t see it coming but suddenly they parted way. But they still maintain a good relationship for the children’s sake. Budi already got himself a new wife so now it’s Lina’s turn.

I guess this 2nd wedding is payback time for Lina. Everything was beautiful; the room and dais was decorated beautifully with fresh flowers, the food was fantastic, there’s a gamelan performance and she even rented ice-cream vendor to serve the guest. She’s so pretty wearing the red gown; doesn’t look like a mother to 3 kids at all. And the kids became the flower boy/girl.

I had to settle something at home that morning so I didn’t make it during her akad nikah ceremony. I missed both her akad nikah it seems. Hehehe. I had tears welled on my eyes during the menepung tawar ceremony. All the memories flashes back and I’m happy for her. Her life is complete now. Looks like I have to work hard after this; it’s either I’m too slow or she’s too fast. Hehehe…

The room

Fresh flowers and crystals

I think this is the prettiest room ever

Macam cerita Hindustan kan cuma Hindutan guna bunga, this one guna crystal

From her to him

From him to her

The beautiful bride

The dais


The gamelan performance

Ice-cream anyone?

Mind you, this big lady is indeed my younger sister. Hehehe...

Following the gamelan rhythm

Entertaining ourselves listening to the gamelan

The children from her previous marriage; counter clockwise from top, Danish, Harith and Mya

Yusof and Ealina

On the dais

Me and my cousin.

P/S : I've been wearing that red baju kurung 3 times this month. Not that I have no other new clothes but I still couldn't find the matching tudung for the others

Famous kah?

I’m so lucky. Appeared in newspaper 3 times in this month. Twice in KOSMO and once in Berita Harian. I’ve appeared in newspaper many times before but 3 times in a month is something. Terperasan famous kejap.

1st one was during our convocation day. My photo was neither big nor clear but at least I’m in it, right.

Same goes on my 2nd one which was taken during the Maulidur Rasul parade at Dataran Merdeka. Again the photo was too small; only I can recognize that it was me on the photo. Wearing bright coloured tudung (orange) is actually not that bad after all.

And the 3rd one was when I’m on duty at the exhibition yesterday. This time, not only the photo was big enough for everyone to recognize me, it even got my names under it. My full name ok. Hahaha….

Unfortunately I couldn’t find the 2nd one online.

Berita Harian, 25th March 09

KOSMO, 6th March 09

Coach's wedding and stuff

Last Saturday, I went home to Kuantan with Shikin. It’s a one day travel that left me pretty exhausted yet happy in the end. The plan was to attend coach’s wedding but I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to go home; even just for few hours.

Pick up Shikin at her house and start off the journey around 7.30am. Stop once for fuel and reached Kuantan around 10.45am. My 1st time driving home. Hehehe….

We had breakfast at home and catching up with my siblings to kill time. The invitation was from 12pm-4pm and normally the bersanding ceremony would be around 2pm. Ayum tag along with me and Shikin but when we reached there exactly at 2pm, the bride and groom were already outside entertaining the guest. There’s no bersanding ceremony and since the Sultan of Pahang came for it, the event has to start early. So we didn’t stay long; enough for a meal and some photos.

Went back home to pick up Siti, Dik Man, Akak and Meera. Actually I planned to bring Shikin to Teluk Chempedak and Tanjung Lumpur for the famous sata but it’s raining heavily so we headed to East Coast Mall. Everyone wanted to buy stationeries so we bought a lot of stationeries and one and half dozens of Big Apple Donuts.

At home we finishes everything in one go. Shikin is actually on a very strict diet but she ate a lot while at home. She had toast for breakfast, then the food serve at the wedding, 2pc of donut, another round of rice with sambal ikan and ended the day with fried kueh teow. She’s actually wanted an extra helping of the fried kueh teow but she didn’t want to be sleepy on the way back so she didn’t. Hahaha… my house is really not a place for those on diet. That’s why I’m having hard time to loose weight, especially when I went home or when Mak came here.

Right before we make a move, Epoi, my brother came back from his in-laws so I got to see my cute little nieces, Adah and her sister, Bila. I can’t wait to go home again. And definitely I’ll bring Shikin along again coz she’s kind of cool and selamba. Sent Shikin first and I reached home at 1am.

Shikin said " Eny, adik ko ni macam lelaki la". Errr... he's really a boy la Shikin. She heard us called him Ayu. It's Ayum actually.

Shikin with the newlywed

A blurred photo

Another blurred ones. Sigh...

I don't know what we called this but they played and sang oldies


The bride's henna

The groom's henna

Congratulation to both of them

Another ad-hoc event

I’m on duty tomorrow and on Thursday at PWTC. We’re having an exhibition on our 50th year of rural development. The crowd would be around 30,000 to 50,000; taking advantages of the UMNO’s general assembly. Really big one and yet the decision to held this exhibition only finalised on Wednesday and when we went there today, nothing much on display yet.

There will be a time tunnel on the 5 era of our Prime Minister showing the stuff we did, do and achieved. Tomorrow I’ll be in-charge of Pak Lah era and on Thursday it’ll be on Tun Hussein era.

I’m not that good in history yet tomorrow we were told to expect all kind of questions from the crowd. Let just hope no one would ask me any question. Hehehe…

Photos@Lumut

Sigh... what a dirty beach, Teluk Chempedak is way much better than this

Hanim, my best buddy

Behind that is Orient Star, Lumut

Just beside the pool, and there's a band singing behind there

At the esplanade; sending smses to missing teammate

At Jetty Wing, Lumut Waterfront



Nice huh, I went till the very end


I'm actually in the middle of the sea


Looks like a big photo frame kan

Very big seafood

Nicely build frame

Right in the middle of the town

In the middle of the roundabout


Terserempak with the missing teammate just in front of the hotel

Promo sket

My soon-to-be-groom coach

Karnival Desa @ Sg. Kerang

Last Friday, Pn. Azura came to my place and we talked till 12.30am. She’s been transferred to MOA so there’s a lot to catch up. We’ve been hanging around together for so long that it’s weird not to have her around. Hanim came at 10 plus but she didn’t joined us, too tired after her futsal games. I invited Hanim to tag along with me to Perak.

Went to sleep at 1am and wake up at 5am coz we need to start off early. We were supposed to push off at 7am but when I arrived few minutes before 7am, no body was there yet. The tyre finally went spinning at 9am.

Arrived at the event site around half past noon and we had our lunch there. We stayed at Orient Star Lumut, which is quite far away from the event site. That evening, we went to check out the new esplanade on foot, located less than 5 minutes walk from the hotel. From large groups finally there’s only me and Hanim left for everyone else was scattered everywhere. We didn’t buy much but more on photographing ourselves. We were really like a tourist there; taking photos everywhere.

Went back to hotel when the clouds are getting darker and drops of rains started to fall. That night, my instructor at OBS came to pass his wedding invitation. It’s been more than a year than our last meet but I was rushing for dinner so we didn’t talk for long; less than 10 minutes.

We had dinner at Manjung. Hanim and I, we had siakap 3 rasa, tom yam and kailan ikan masin, my favourite combination. The fish was big for 2 but we managed to finish it; definitely not my 1st time eating big fish with only a friend.

Went to event side coz tagging team needs to tag the seats. Stayed there till 2.30am and I’m nearly frozen inside the bus. Forgot to bring my sweaters and I’m too sleepy to bring myself out of the bus. Poor Hanim, it’s her 1st time following me along and she had to stay up late and wake up at the very early hour. Hope this wouldn’t stop her from doing it again.

That morning, we wake up 5.30am, and push off to Kg. Sg. Kerang, Trong at 7am; right after breakfast. Arrived there around 8.30am and quickly resume our duty. Barely 1 hour later, had my batik soaked with sweats. Very uncomfortable coz I was running here and there, ushering peoples to fill up the empty seats at the marquee tent. I’ve done this countless of time but trust me I never like it. I’m not the one who likes to be in the limelight, ushering peoples make me feels that. But since it’s my job, I’ve to give the best I can.

Assalamualaikum. Selamat datang.
Jemput penuhkan tempat di khemah ye.
Majlis akan bermula sebentar saje lagi… jemput penuhkan ruang di khemah ye.
Pohon penuhkan ruang di depan dulu ye.
Boleh saya bantu?
Oh di sini ye.
Ke sebelah kanan ya tuan.

Normal dialogue when I’m on duty. Thought I wouldn’t have to do that again once I left Guardian. There we had to entertain each and every customer.

Welcome to Guardian.
How may I help you ma’am/sir?
Oh we have promotions on… bla bla bla….
This is our new promotions brochure….yada yada yada….
Proceed on answering each and every question about product on displays.
Thank you ma’am/sir.
Please come again and have a nice day.

That’s why nowadays when I went to Guardian and no one treated me like that I feel awkward. It’s a norm ok. We have to actually practice on that and I trained my staff back then.

Ok back to the story. En. Afnan came and I tagged him along together with Didi when I’m done with my job. Left my camera with Hanim on the bus so not so much photos except few on Didi’s camera. Hanim stayed on the bus, catching up her sleeps.

We had ours right after Minister and the entourage finishes their lunch. Our new TKSU invited us to her hometown at Padang Rengas for some durians. We were welcomed to some fresh durians, pengat durian, pulut, roti jala and what not. I was so tired that I slept from Sg. Kerang to Padang Rengas. And continue back right after that but still as usual tidur-tidur ayam saje.

Reach Putrajaya at 7pm plus. Went home, clean up and went to sleep immediately after isya’ prayer; not even 9pm yet ok. Pretty exhausted this time. And the day after, work resume as usual. Sigh…

Repercussion of an act

Sometimes we don’t really give so much thought on the repercussion of our act; like I am. Ok most of the time I would think but when it’s about friend, I wouldn’t really mind. I love shopping, dining or doing just about anything with all my friend, male and female. But being at my age, even though I have many female friends, they are already married and can’t spend times with me like we used to. The single ones like Hanim stayed too far. So there’s this bunch of male friend left for me and I treat them just the same like my female friend in which few of my female friend said I shouldn’t. Coz if I treated everyone the same, how would that guy (if any la kan) wanted to mengurat me or to see any hints that/if I like him. Hmm… that is true but I guess if I really like that friend, there’s some extra attention towards him kot. But everyone got extra attention too. Hish really lah, how huh?

I love being with my friends for with them I can be myself; with all my true colours. And everyone has their own specialties. A friend for my heartache, a friend to discuss on religious matters, a friend to dine with, shopping with, a friend to gossip with, to fight with (not a serious one ok), to exercise with and to do just about everything lah.

Lately I spend most of my times with En. Nasrol. Being in the same department makes things easier. We eat breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner together. We shop together and En. Afnan would join us sometimes. I know some guys hate it when a lady went shopping but I found that this 2 guys are crazy about shopping too. In fact crazier than me. Recently I bought a new shoes and again it was En. Nasrol who’s there waiting and commenting. And yes even though I spend most of my times with them, I still called them Encik Afnan and Encik Nasrol. Hehehe…

If peoples notice my existence ( I don’t know, I always felt I’m invisible), they might think I’m a playgirl. Eh last time I saw this lady with a different guy. Now with a different guy. Long time ago I saw her with different guy also. How many boyfriend does she really have huh? Many. Hahaha… coz they are my boyfriend, not lover right.

There are good and there are bad about this actually. The good things are, I learn a lot on guys’ behaviour, their taste, mood swing etc. Guys are actually like us too but in a different way. They are sensitive, fragile, moody, love shopping and everything lah. The bad things are I might miss the chance of being mengurat by a guy for they thought I already have a steady man. Peoples might think I’m fooling myself or wasting my times with all this guys in which I assure you I’m not. Or maybe toying with someone’s heart/feelings in which I’m not too.

But seriously, when a guy (that I don’t or barely know) said he likes me I would be like huh? And suddenly I’m not myself. Not acting or controlling but you know when we met with new peoples we wouldn’t just jump and shout like we normally do to those we already with. And I don’t like that. I’d prefer to start with a friendship first because when a friend did something bad or hurting us, we tend to be more forgiving than when someone we hold special in our heart. I’m not sure about others but that’s me. So, to love me is to be my friend first. Hehehe….

And I’m not dating anyone at this time yet. Eh ni macam nak mempromosi diri plak ni. No lah just an explanation in case you all see me with different guys.

I was thinking about this because of last night incident. We might not think seriously about what we did but peoples have their own view and judgment that sometimes or most of the times is not what we think or intend to do. Just make sure that we know our limits and do not go overboard.

Nora's Atok and Nenek

Yesterday I didn’t have any proper meals from morning and since En. Nasrol, my dining partner went for a course and few other friends were not available, I called Nora but before I could ask him, he asked me first. He asked me to tag along with him to meet his god grandparents from the village placement (the one we had during DPA). I said ok.

First we stop by at the new Jusco at AU for some fruits and maghrib prayer. Eh the place is very nice lah; big, new and nice landscape. We arrived at the place around 8.30pm and after some chatting, we had our dinner.

The Atok and Nenek all the time thought that we…erm… well…erm… a couple. I found it funny though but I pitied them too; we’re just friend ok. I know his mom, his mom knows me, he knows my parents and my parents know him and we’re just that; a platonic friend. Then Atok did say something like it won’t be long lah before they can go to Kuantan (on our wedding lah konon-kononnya), that Nora can come to my kampung at Lenggong yada..yada…yada…. We can only laugh. If only this Atok and Nenek know, what would they said. Hish what la with today’s youngsters… can’t understand them. Hehehe…

Oh forgot to tell, Nora had his village placement somewhere near Lenggong, my dad hometown. My dad hails from Kg. Geluk, Lenggong. Atok told that there almost everyone are related to each other, Abah said the same too. Maybe this Atok knew my late grandfather for they serve for home guard during communist era. I was hoping to be placed there too but I was placed at Kg. Air Kuning, Pasir Panjang Hulu.

Atok even told Nora to bring me along when he’s coming down for fruits season in June. Hahaha… I wouldn’t mind actually coz not only I can eat lots and lots of fruit, I can go back to my own kampung too.

Oh one more funny thing happen while we had our dinner. I accidentally called Nora, Nora. Luckily it was more like a whisper and Nora said, Azhar la. Nanti Atok and Nenek dengar. Ops sorry. Hehehe….

What if one day, while shopping or dining with En. Nasrol (well I think he’s a good partner for that), suddenly terserempak with this Atok and Nenek, since they come here often. Would they think I’m being unfaithful towards Nora? Maybe… hehehe….

Is this the real me?

Saw this on Yanti's blog and decided to try it. I'm intrigued by it for some of it is true but there's a few exceptions too.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. -Every test I did would come to this; maybe due to my analytical thinking

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. -Yeah I don't judge a man by his look but more on his appearance; especially on fingernails and teeth (both must be clean) and peoples don't think I'm attractive; fussy it is

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship. -Of course, I would rather know your bad instead of your good first for if I can stand your bad, then the good will be a bonus. Same things applies to myself, I would rather you know my bad first before liking me for my good

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with? - Me, flirty and seductive? I don't think so. Friendly and funny maybe

Your views on education:

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own. -This is so not true. Educations is everything; that's why I like smart people, remember (refer to no.2)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. -Insya-Allah

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. -Not really on my dressing but more on personality; it's hurt hearing people whom I barely know or barely know me talk bad/condemning me. Try to at least know me first; I'm not that snobbish after all

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. -I've been the chosen one as early as when I'm 12. Never been in love but some friend call me Dr. Love for my advice. Hahaha. You name it, love, families, conflicts, friendship, I've handled everything. Helping peoples solving their problem is my call I guess.

Photos@Kelantan

Mind you, this is breakfast ok

KESEDAR Inn


Welcome to us

From my room

Sultan resthouse, just beside KESEDAR Inn

Nice huh

Some of us

Steamboat for high tea?

I have lot's of trees-hugging photo like this

I wonder... is this how Gua Musang got it's name

Akarwali, heard that it's good for diabetics so took home a bit for Abah

Seems like even plants "bersabung nyawa" to live

Us with big ostrich. I had ostrich steak before and it's yummy

The largest night market in Kelantan but I didn't bought anything there

That's Stong Hill behind me

Zooming on the waterfalls

Us again

Do I look like a monkey here?

Always had this wide smile that's make my face look wider too....

Oh waterfalls again... it's been a while since my last river-bathing session


Stone Hill's Resort


At my restaurant I didn't know I had

I even had my own specialties ok; nasi goreng Aini

Me and my besties; Yuzi. She publish this photo in our YG and we've been labelled as "TOMBAM" ever since